How did the ghost song-and-dance act make a living?

By appearing in television spooktaculars.

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Why do women live longer than men?

Shopping never causes heart attacks, but paying the bill does!

Where does a Turkey live?

A coup.

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What's green, white, and orange and only appears once a year?

Irish pride

Why doesn't ISIS appear in any Sci-Fi shows or movies?

Because they are set in the future.