What's the difference between a magician and a psychologist?

A magician makes rabbits appear in hats, while a psychologist makes habits appear in rats.

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Difference Jokes More Difference Jokes

What's the difference between Isis hostages and Isis terrorists?

Don't ask me, I just fly the drones...

What's the difference between an onion and a woman?

I cry when I cut open an onion

Magician Jokes More Magician Jokes

What did the magician say to the aerial student?

I work on a different plane

What did the magician's girlfriend say to the magician?

I can't see you anymore.

Rabbit Jokes More Rabbit Jokes

Why do rabbits always get banned from CS:GO?

Because they're always bunny-hopping.

What did the rabbit say to the deer?

What up doe

Psychologist Jokes More Psychologist Jokes

What did the pessimist say to the psychologist?

Only the good die, Jung.

Why can't you hear a psychologist go to the bathroom?

Because the 'p' is silent.

Hat Jokes More Hat Jokes

Why JFK doesn't wear hats?

It is an airport.

How do you get three popes into a Volkswagen?

You take off their hats

Appear Jokes More Appear Jokes

How much for the supermodel?

Winks seductively "Ma'am, that's a mirror and you appear to be having a stroke."

Why does light travel faster than sound?

Because some people appear bright until you hear them speak.

Rat Jokes More Rat Jokes

How many rats does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Two, but you have to get them in the lightbulb first.

What do you call ratting out the President's daughter for smoking weed?

High treason.

Habit Jokes More Habit Jokes

What do you call the act of press-ganging someone into a monastery?

Force of habit.

What did the tailor tell the thieving nun when he caught her red-handed?

You better not make a habit out of this.