Magician Jokes

What do you call a Magician with a Parrot?

Pollygone

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What do you call the child of a magician and a potato?

A prestidigitator tot!

What do you call a dog that is also a magician?

A Labracadabrador.

What do you call a beauty pageant for cartographers and magicians?

Miss Direction.

Why are magicians always sad?

Because everything they have disappears

What did the fisherman from Boston say to the magician?

Pick a cod, any cod!

What's the difference between a magician and a psychologist?

A magician makes rabbits appear in hats, while a psychologist makes habits appear in rats.

What do you call a dog that is a magician?

A Labara Cadabarador

What did the magician's girlfriend say to the magician?

I can't see you anymore.

What did the magician say when he made his rabbit disappear?

Hare today gone tomorrow.

What did the fisherman say to the magician?

Pick a cod, any cod!

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What did the magician say when he a did a magic trick on the spaghetti?

Pesto chango

What does a footballer and a magician have in common?

Both do hat tricks!

What is the difference between a magician and Bernie Sanders?

The magician returns your wallet at the end of the performance

How do magicians retire?

They seem to just disappear.

What's the difference between a psychologist and a magician?

A psychologist pulls habits out of rats!

What did the magician say to the cell?

Might I conjure Ya?

When is a farmer like a magician?

When he turns his cow to pasture.

What do you call a magician in a Dr. Seuss book?

Who-dini

How many magicians does it take to pull a rabbit out of a hat?

One. It's a trick question.

Why did the magician always use trap doors during his act?

It was juts a stage he was going through.

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What did the magician say to the aerial student?

I work on a different plane

What did the spectator say when the magician transformed Dracula into 2?

Miraculous. Edited: tough crowd

What does a hockey player and a magician have in common?

Both do hat tricks!

What did the hippopotamus do to the magician?

He hippo-tized him!

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Wallet Jokes More Wallet Jokes

Why did the poor art collector only buy miniature paintings?

He wanted more Monet in his wallet.

What do you get when you fart on your wallet?

Gas money

Cunning Stunt Jokes More Cunning Stunt Jokes

What's the difference between a magicians wand and a police baton?

The magician's wand is used for cunning stunts

What's the difference between a police baton and a magic wand?

Ones used for cunning stunts.

Disappear Jokes More Disappear Jokes

How did the Chihuahua disappear on the road?

It was using a hide-'n-go-seekle!

Whenever I'm in trouble, I think: what would Jesus do?

Then I pretend to be dead and disappear for three days.

Police Baton Jokes More Police Baton Jokes

What's the difference between a police baton and a magic wand?

Ones used for cunning stunts.

What's the difference between a magicians wand and a police baton?

The magician's wand is used for cunning stunts

Perform Jokes More Perform Jokes

How many members of an identifiable group does it take to perform a common task?

A certain number! One to actually perform the task, and the rest to act in a manner stereotypical of the group.

What do you call a fish that performs brain surgeries?

A neurosturgeon

Line Jokes More Line Jokes

What equine likes to cut in line?

A sawhorse!

What's long, black, and dangerous to cut?

The line at KFC.

Cunning Array Jokes More Cunning Array Jokes

Dead Magician Jokes More Dead Magician Jokes

What did the dead magician say?

Abra-cadaver

What do you call a dead magician?

Abra Cadaver.