Arrest Jokes

So the other day I'm talking to a friend about what happened to the Energizer Bunny. It's been quite sometime since I've seen him appear in a commercial. I was always under the impression that he "kept going." My friend proceeds to tell me the Energizer Bunny was arrested last year,and they charged him with battery. Now it all makes sense.

Why did the suspenders get arrested?

Because they held up a pair of pants.

Why was Aron Ralston arrested by the FBI?

For giving arms to Iraq.

Why did the duck get arrested?

Because he was smoking quack!

Why was the musician arrested?

He got in treble.

Why was the horse farmer arrested?

He was raising a colt.

What happened when Smokey the Bear started the forest fire?

He got arrested just like you would've.

Why was the Cookie Monster arrested for computer hacking?

He was in possession of all the "COOKIES"

What do you call a pig who's been arrested for dangerous driving?

A road hog!

Why did Yewtree arrest the husband-to-be at the celebrity wedding of the year?

They wanted to make sure he'd never been a groom.

What does an elite hacker get after being arrested?

Deleted

What did you say to the policeman who spent eight hours on the Internet?

Oh give it arrest.

Why was the Muslim arrested for speeding during Ramadan?

Because he was going *to fast*!

Why was the lobster arrested?

Because he was always pinching things.

Why is Arrested Development funny?

Because the farce is strong with that one.

Why couldn't the police arrest the drug dealer?

Because the evidence was under their noses (They sniffed the cocaine)

Why did the police arrest the Christmas goose?

They suspected it of fowl play.

Why was the skunk arrested for counterfeiting?

Because he gave out bad scents (cents).

Why was Ke$ha arrested?

TiK ToK On The Clock

Why was Karl Marx arrested for brewing a cup of Earl Grey?

Because all proper tea is theft.

Why was the bodybuilder arrested at the elementary school?

Because it was a gun-free zone

Why did the lettuce get arrested?

For disturbing the peas!

What is it called when you are arrested for drunk driving and you extremely regret it?

DU-WHY!

Why did they arrest Jared Fogle at 3:15?

That's when the big hand touches the little hand.

Why was the battery arrested?

Cuz it was charged with electricity.

Why did you arrest that doctor?

Officer: He was trying to take someone's pulse.

Why did the police officer arrest the pop machine?

It was selling coke.

Why was the geologist arrested?

He was doing crystal math.

What was the poltergeist arrested for at the campground?

Possession within tent

Why was 7 arrested for homicide?

Because somebody divided 14 into 2 and he was the prime suspect

Why did they arrest the musician?

He got into treble.

Why was the algebra teacher arrested on drug charges?

He was caught doing lines of math!

What would you do if you had to arrest your mother?

New Recruit: Call for backup!

Why was the pirate arrested for polygamy?

He kept on and on about his mateys.

Why did the sheriff arrest the tree?

Because its leaves rustled.

Why were the suspenders arrested?

For holding up a pair of pants.

Why did the police arrest the sidewalk sidewalk?

It always had some sort of weed on it!

Why did the police arrest the energizer bunny?

He was wanted for several charges of battery

Why was Donald Duck arrested?

He was high on quack.

Where do esport players go if they get arrested?

Guantanamo ebay

Why did the Sudanese boy get arrested in Texas?

I'm not exactly sure, but it was about time.

Which wiki do dyslexic pastry chefs claim to be trying to visit before getting arrested?

Www.filopedia.org

Why did the creepy hipster get arrested?

Because he was following people before instagram

Why are they arresting that dog?

What did he do?!? (My 6yo upon seeing a police dog sitting in the back of a police car.)

What did the police say to the hot dog?

You are under arrest.

Why was the man arrested at the farmers' market?

He was caught taking a leek.

Why did the Addams have the late man arrested?

He was expected on Tuesday, but he came on Wednesday.

Why was the geophysicist arrested?

He was doing crystal math.

Why were the ducks arrested?

They were selling quack in the park.

Why did Snoop Dogg get arrested?

Embezzlement

What was the demon arrested for?

Possession.

Why did the dry cleaners get shut down?

The owner was arrested for money laundry-ing

Why was the tired criminal delighted when he was caught by the police?

Because he needed *arrest*!!!

What if the Government invented cheese to distract us from reality?

Gets arrested*

Why are high end clocks designed and made in Switzerland?

As they don't get arrested for doing their job as they do in America!

Why was the man arrested for looking at sets of dentures in a dentist's window?

Because it was against the law to pick your teeth in public.

Why was he woman arrested on a cattle ranch for wearing a silk dress?

She was charged with rustling!

What problems would you face if you were arrested for drunk driving?

I'd probably lose my buzz a lot faster.

Why couldn't the pirate get into the movie?

Because he was arrested for pirating movies since it's illegal!

Why a giraffe got arrested while driving?

Coz he was high

Why was the medicine man for bald eagles arrested?

He was selling ill-eagle drugs.

What do ghosts get arrested for?

Possession.

Why was the liquor trader arrested?

Because he was in cider trading

Why did a kid get arrested for taking a home made clock into school?

Sounds like he had already done the... time

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Arrest Jokes

Why did Judge Reinhold get arrested in Dallas?

Love

Which Star Wars character was arrested for drunk driving?

Why did the feminist get triggered?

Why are there no black magicians?

Why couldn't the police arrest the robber on the second floor?

Why was the communist arrested?

Why was the man arrested for having his skin flute played?

Why did the French police arrested the Muslim teenager?

Why was the guy from 127 Hours arrested for espionage?

Why did the felon have so much energy?

What did the Officer say after arresting the crooked cook?

Love Card

Why do rappers always get arrested?

Why did the insomniac get arrested?

Why did the tortoise get arrested?

What was Snoop Dogg's ghost arrested for?

Why did the Asian man get arrested for stealing a Buick sedan?

Why was the teacher arrested for writing in permanent marker?

Why did two owls get arrested for the same crime?

What happened to the pie dish that got arrested?

What do you get if you cross a Buddhist monk and a 16 year old blonde cheerleader?

Why did the ghost go to jail?

I've Got a Whole Latte Jokes

Why was the violin coach arrested?

Why did the cat get arrested for playing a violin?

Why was the black man arrested?

Why don't plumbers ride bikes?

Why did the bar owner by a diamond mine get arrested?

Why did the calculus students get arrested?

Why was the energizer bunny arrested?

Why was the pianist arrested?

What did Abe Lincoln say when he was arrested?

Why was the Human Torch arrested?

I Love Pizza & You

Why was the circuit arrested?

Why was the heroin dealer arrested at the basketball game?

Why did the demon get arrested?

What did the devil get arrested for?

Why did the belt get arrested?

What ever happened to the Energizer Bunny?