Arrest Jokes

Why did Judge Reinhold get arrested in Dallas?

Because he can't even get arrested in Hollywood.

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Which Star Wars character was arrested for drunk driving?

Han Solo. Because he took a shot first.

Why couldn't the police arrest the robber on the second floor?

Because he took the stairs.

Why did the felon have so much energy?

He was well arrested!

What did the Officer say after arresting the crooked cook?

I just booked a cook for cooking the books.

Why did the insomniac get arrested?

He resisted a rest.

Why did the tortoise get arrested?

Because he got there before the hare.

What happened to the pie dish that got arrested?

He was foiled.

Why did the ghost go to jail?

He got arrested for possession.

Why did the bar owner by a diamond mine get arrested?

He attributed to the delinquency of a miner.

Why did the calculus students get arrested?

For drinking and deriving.

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Why was the energizer bunny arrested?

He got a battery charge.

What did Abe Lincoln say when he was arrested?

I'm-in-a-cent!

Why was the Human Torch arrested?

He had firearms.

Why was the circuit arrested?

Because it was charged with battery!

Why did the demon get arrested?

Posession

What did the devil get arrested for?

Possession!

Why did the belt get arrested?

Because it held up a pair of pants.

Why did the suspenders get arrested?

Because they held up a pair of pants.

Why was the musician arrested?

He got in treble.

Why was the horse farmer arrested?

He was raising a colt.

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What happened when Smokey the Bear started the forest fire?

He got arrested just like you would've.

Why was the Cookie Monster arrested for computer hacking?

He was in possession of all the "COOKIES"

What do you call a pig who's been arrested for dangerous driving?

A road hog!

What does an elite hacker get after being arrested?

Deleted

What did you say to the policeman who spent eight hours on the Internet?

Oh give it arrest.

Why was the Muslim arrested for speeding during Ramadan?

Because he was going *to fast*!

Why was the lobster arrested?

Because he was always pinching things.

Why is Arrested Development funny?

Because the farce is strong with that one.

Why did the police arrest the Christmas goose?

They suspected it of fowl play.

Why was the skunk arrested for counterfeiting?

Because he gave out bad scents (cents).

Why was Ke$ha arrested?

TiK ToK On The Clock

Why was the bodybuilder arrested at the elementary school?

Because it was a gun-free zone

Why did the lettuce get arrested?

For disturbing the peas!

What is it called when you are arrested for drunk driving and you extremely regret it?

DU-WHY!

Why was the battery arrested?

Cuz it was charged with electricity.

Why did you arrest that doctor?

Officer: He was trying to take someone's pulse.

What was the poltergeist arrested for at the campground?

Possession within tent

Why was 7 arrested for homicide?

Because somebody divided 14 into 2 and he was the prime suspect

Why did they arrest the musician?

He got into treble.

What would you do if you had to arrest your mother?

New Recruit: Call for backup!

Why was the pirate arrested for polygamy?

He kept on and on about his mateys.

Why did the sheriff arrest the tree?

Because its leaves rustled.

Why were the suspenders arrested?

For holding up a pair of pants.

Why did the police arrest the energizer bunny?

He was wanted for several charges of battery

Why did the creepy hipster get arrested?

Because he was following people before instagram

What did the police say to the hot dog?

You are under arrest.

Why was the man arrested at the farmers' market?

He was caught taking a leek.

Why did the Addams have the late man arrested?

He was expected on Tuesday, but he came on Wednesday.

Why was the geophysicist arrested?

He was doing crystal math.

Why did Snoop Dogg get arrested?

Embezzlement

What was the demon arrested for?

Possession.

Why did the dry cleaners get shut down?

The owner was arrested for money laundry-ing

Why was the tired criminal delighted when he was caught by the police?

Because he needed *arrest*!!!

What if the Government invented cheese to distract us from reality?

Gets arrested*

Why was the man arrested for looking at sets of dentures in a dentist's window?

Because it was against the law to pick your teeth in public.

Why was he woman arrested on a cattle ranch for wearing a silk dress?

She was charged with rustling!

What problems would you face if you were arrested for drunk driving?

I'd probably lose my buzz a lot faster.

Why couldn't the pirate get into the movie?

Because he was arrested for pirating movies since it's illegal!

What do ghosts get arrested for?

Possession.

Why was the liquor trader arrested?

Because he was in cider trading

Why was the baseball player arrested?

He was involved in a hit-and-run.

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Star Wars Character Jokes More Star Wars Character Jokes

What do you call a book filled with outlines of Star Wars characters?

A Kylo Ren Book

How do you know when the Star Wars characters are safe?

Because they got Chewbacca

Find Jokes More Find Jokes

What do you find on a beach?

A tangent.

How did the jury find the hamburger?

Grill-ty as charred!

Hollywood Jokes More Hollywood Jokes

Which Hollywood actress has made sure all sci-fi movies like alien; ghostbusters; Avatar & chappie are "woven" together?

Sigourney "Weaver"

What type of wood is the most expensive?

Hollywood! (Made this up while i was doing a project.)

Second Floor Jokes More Second Floor Jokes

Why couldn't the police arrest the robber on the second floor?

Because he took the stairs.

Cop Jokes More Cop Jokes

When a cop pulls you over and asks, "Papers?

Answer "Scissors." then drive away..

When the cop asks you "Do you know how fast you were going?

Do NOT respond with "I know, right!"

Trigger Jokes More Trigger Jokes

What do you kiss on a Mexican dish that will trigger the end of the world?

El Taco Lips.

What's the difference between handguns and feminists?

A handgun only has one trigger.

Knicker Jokes More Knicker Jokes

Stair Jokes More Stair Jokes

Why couldn't the police arrest the robber on the second floor?

Because he took the stairs.

How do you get a free flight at an airport?

Take the stairs.