Han Jokes

What do you call miscellaneous members of Han Solo's best friend's family?

Rando Calrissians

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Which Star Wars character was arrested for drunk driving?

Han Solo. Because he took a shot first.

How does Kylo Ren talk on the phone?

A Hans free device

What did the handicapped racecar driver say?

I have no Hans

How long does it take Han Solo to screw in a light bulb?

Less than twelve parsecs.

What was Han Solo's reaction to being taken to the carbon-freezing chamber?

He was petrified.

Who Shot First? Boba Fett or Jango Fett?

Han Solo

Why does C-3PO always tell Han the Odds?

Because he can't even.

What do Han and Chewbacca use to communicate?

A wookiee talkie.

What did Han Solo say when Leia asked for help with a crossword clue?

I don't know

Why did the Millennium Falcon hot a tree?

Because Han was flying so low.

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What does Han Solo see looking into the mirror?

Han Double

What do you call a terrible performance of Han Solo: The Musical?

A rebel without applause.

Why is Han Solo a loner?

Because he's solo.

What did Luke say at Han and Leia's wedding?

May divorce be with you

Why was Han yelling at Chewbacca on their first day on the Millennium Falcon?

Because Chewie was making too many wookie mistakes!

What do you call a Harrison Ford one man show?

A Han Solo performance.

What does Leia say when she needs help?

I think I could use a Han here.

What did Han.... Tell Leia after they separated?

May Divorce be with you.*

What happened to Han when Chewie wouldn't do the marathon?

He Ran Solo...

Why did Han go out Black Friday shopping.?

Because the prices were Solo

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How does Han Solo like to get around Endor?

Ewoks

What does Han Solo call a sick Chewbacca?

A Chewie

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What did the spaghetti say to the postmodernist ravioli?

Stop being such an intellectual im-pasta.

When do ghosts have to stop scaring people?

When they lose their haunting licenses.

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What is a Skywalker's preferred temperature?

Lukewarm.

What is the internal temperature of a Tauntaun?

Lukewarm.

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What will you find in the toilet of a ship?

The captains log.

Who will take the second shot in this pool game?

Find out after the break.

Mirror Jokes More Mirror Jokes

Where will you see yourself in 15 years?

A Mirror

What happened when the monster kissed his one true love?

He left lip prints on the mirror!

Phone Jokes More Phone Jokes

How can you tell if someone who's having a temper tantrum is on the phone?

You get a tizzy signal!

Why did The Hobbit put his phone on silent?

Because he was bored of the rings!

Tell Jokes More Tell Jokes

How can you tell when a white guy is about to tell a joke?

He glances over his shoulder.

What's the difference between a piano, a tuna and a jar of glue?

You: You can tuna piano but you can't piano a tuna! Person getting told joke: What about the jar of glue? You: I knew you'd get stuck there

Ask Jokes More Ask Jokes

What does it mean if holy water sizzles when it hits your skin?

I'm just asking for a friend)

A DHCP packet walks into a bar and asks for a beer.

Bartender says, "here, but I’ll need that back in an hour!"

Petrify Jokes More Petrify Jokes

What was Han Solo's reaction to being taken to the carbon-freezing chamber?

He was petrified.

Why are the old trees always yelling?

They were all petrified.