Muslim Jokes

Where do Muslim people go when they die?

Everywhere

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What did the muslim say to the other muslim when they were surfing?

That was radical!

Why did the French police arrested the Muslim teenager?

Because he was trying to detonate a Samsung Note 7.

What do you call a Muslim trainer's Pokmon?

Voltorb

Why did the Muslim cross the road?

To get to the bigger crowd

Why do Muslims love shopping at Ross?

Because they can dress foreless.

What's a Muslim's favorite TV show?

It's always sunni in Philadelphia

What U.S. state was founded by Muslims?

Allah-bama

What did the muslim telemarketer say when he picked up the phone?

Halal?

What did Muslim sonic say on June 5?

Gotta go fasting!

What is a Muslim womans favorite amendment?

The second (right to bare arms)

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What famous hotel chain do muslims prefer when travelling on religious holidays?

Ramadamadan.

Whats a Muslims favorite cologne?

GERMANY!!!!

What is the difference between a Muslim baby and a Christian baby?

Their parents.

Why was the Muslim sad when he bought a pirated disc?

Because the Disc was cracked

What happens when you are banned on a muslim server?

You are turbanned

What is a Muslims favorite type of vinegar?

BalIslamic

What is the name of Turkey's most beloved actor?

Muslim Bale

What's a Muslims favourite animal?

Its Lamb

What do you call a Muslim standing between two buildings?

Ali

What did the Muslim Sonic say?

Gotta go fast.

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Which university has the most muslims?

SUNY

What do you call a Muslim basketball player's best move?

Islam Dunk

Where do Muslims go on a weekend?

To Mecca Bingo.

Where did the Muslim go for his sandwich?

Aaaaaaaaallah Snackbar.

Where does a Muslim go for a quick bite?

Allahu Snackbar!

Why did the Muslim CEO dislike the cartoon of Muhammad?

Because it wasn't prophet maximizing.

What is a Muslim's Favorite Dinosaur???

Allahsaurus!

Why dont Muslims play Dota?

Because techies respawns

How did a Chinese spy disguise himself as an Arab in America?

He became a Muslim.

How do you know if a Muslim is laughing online?

He types, "HALOL"

Where do Muslim hipsters shop for clothes?

Turban Outfitters!

What do you get when a Mexican and Muslim have a child?

A kid who loves halalpenos

Why is a praying muslim like apple pie with ice cream?

Both are in *a la mode*.

What did the moderate muslim say to the radical muslim?

Hello friend!

Why was the Muslim arrested for speeding during Ramadan?

Because he was going *to fast*!

When is the only time a Muslim bets?

When there is a prophet involved.

What do Muslim children color with?

A Quran

What did the muslim woman say to her new fiance?

Jihad me at hello.

What does a Muslim cowboy shout on his horse?

Jee hawd!!!!!!!!!!

What's a muslim's favourite game?

Goat Stimulator

How do you order food at a Muslim restaurant?

Allah carte.

How is a Muslim at Ramadan like Sonic the Hedgehog?

They both gotta go fast.

What's the most commonly used Muslim woman punch called?

Hijab

Where does a Muslim learn to swim?

Inshallah water.

What does a Muslim magician say before his trick?

Araba-cadabra

How do Muslims like their food served?

Allah Carte

What does a Muslim man call a girl he is living in sin with?

Haram bea

What's the most believed oxymoron?

Peaceful muslims

What is its Muslim equivalent?

A kaboom!

What do you call a fast food joint that caters specifically to muslims?

Allahuh Snackbar

What did the Muslim on a surfboard say?

Aloha Akbar!

What do you call a Muslim who is also a pilot?

Greg if you're a friend, Gregory if you were introduced, Mr. Abdalla if you're doing business with one another.

What is the only type of alcohol muslims are allowed to drink?

TAKBEER!

What do Muslim gamers say at the start of Ramadan?

Gotta go fast!

What s a Muslim s favorite cologne?

GERMANY!!!!

What is a Muslims favourite video game?

Goat simulator

Who would still buy a Note 7 after all the controversy?

A Muslim

What bee is forbidden to the Muslims?

Haram-bee

What's Lance Armstrong's favorite pen brand?

Uniball. What's a Muslim's favorite pen Arab Bic. What's a deaf-mute's favorite pen Pentel.

Why did the Muslim take his Note 7 onto an airplane?

Do I really have to answer that Who doesn't bring their phone with them when they travel

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Whatcha call that?

Head over heels.

What do you call a man with a kilt over his head?

Scott!

Allah Jokes More Allah Jokes

How do you say "Jesus take the wheel" in Arabic?

Allah take the flight controls

What did the black Jesus say to the black Black Buddah?

Allah back!

Cut Jokes More Cut Jokes

What is the definition of a Barbarian?

It's someone who cuts hair in a library.

What does Johnny Depp say when cutting down trees?

TIMBUUUUUUUURTON

End Jokes More End Jokes

Why did the photon stop drinking after traveling 670 million miles?

Because Happy Hour ended.

Why are you reading the last pages of your history book first?

Pupil: I want to know how it ends!

Harambe Jokes More Harambe Jokes

How are Harambe memes keeping up?

Cincinnati Zoo keeps trying to shoot them down.

What's the difference between the people and bullets?

The people miss Harambe.

Support Jokes More Support Jokes

Why did so many people support the colonist protest of tea?

Cause everyone wanted'a "boo" tea!

How many IT support techs does it take to change a lightbulb?

Have you tried turning the light off and back on?

Fry List Jokes More Fry List Jokes

Why was the healthy potato not allowed on the plane?

He was on the "No Fry" list.

Muslim People Jokes More Muslim People Jokes

Where do Muslim people go when they die?

Everywhere