I bought some shoes from a drug dealer.

I don't know what he laced them with, but I was tripping all day!

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Know Jokes More Know Jokes

What's the alien version of Facebook?

Spacebook. (It's a terrible joke I know).

Why was the man hanging out in the market all day?

I don't know, but it was pretty bazaar

Day Jokes More Day Jokes

What does Putin say during his New Year's speech?

Don't know but its so scary that they drink for ten days straight right after!

Why is Thanksgiving such a special holiday at the gas station?

It is a day to be tankful.

Buy Jokes More Buy Jokes

Why couldn't the Hungarian programmer buy a third long?

Because he only had Forints! Thank you thank you, tip your waiter.

What happens when the President dies?

The Vice President takes over. What happens when the Vice President dies? The Speaker of the House takes over. What happens when the Speaker of the House dies? You go to Radio Shack and buy a new speaker.

Shoe Jokes More Shoe Jokes

What kind of shoes does Jack Lew wear?

Cashews.

What kind of shoes does a thief wear?

Sneakers

Drug Dealer Jokes More Drug Dealer Jokes

Why couldn't the police arrest the drug dealer?

Because the evidence was under their noses (They sniffed the cocaine)

Why was the drug dealer late?

Because he tripped

Trip Jokes More Trip Jokes

Why was the rooster happy after his trip to Vegas?

He got clucky.

How do you get ready for a trip around the Sun?

Planet

Lace Jokes More Lace Jokes

How do you always keep your shoes tied?

Replace the laces with earphones.

I bought some shoes from a drug dealer.

I don't know what he laced them with, but I was tripping all day!