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How do you always keep your shoes tied?

Replace the laces with earphones.

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Shoe Jokes More Shoe Jokes

How do you get a person with podophobia to leave?

Just say "shoe".

What kind of shoes does Solid Snake wear?

Sneakers. Huehuehue.

Tie Jokes More Tie Jokes

What is the result?

A tie.

What did tie say to the hat?

You go on ahead, I'll hang around.

Replace Jokes More Replace Jokes

What's the problem with your marriage?

WIFE: He replaces words with animal names just to annoy me ME: I don't do it on porpoise

How many Apple users does it take to change a lightbulb?

None. Once the bulb goes out, they replace the house.

Lace Jokes More Lace Jokes

Why shouldn't you buy shoes off the street?

They might be laced with something..

I bought some shoes from a drug dealer.

I don't know what he laced them with, but I was tripping all day!