Why was the lobster arrested?

Because he was always pinching things.

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Thing Jokes More Thing Jokes

What do you call a scientist that measures things in space?

A cosmetrologist.

What two things look exactly the opposite but mean exactly the same?

9/11 and 11/9 - darkest days in American history

Arrest Jokes More Arrest Jokes

Why did Judge Reinhold get arrested in Dallas?

Because he can't even get arrested in Hollywood.

Why was the tired criminal delighted when he was caught by the police?

Because he needed *arrest*!!!

Lobster Jokes More Lobster Jokes

What do a Chinese tourist who got run over by a bus and a lobster have in common?

They're both crushed-asians

What's the difference between lobsters and crabs?

I don't lobsters!

Pinch Jokes More Pinch Jokes

How do you know a girl is into you?

Just pinch yourself, if you don't wake up, she doesn't.

How did the cynic die?

He died of liver failure. He took everything with a pinch of salt.