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Lobster Jokes

Why do lobsters make bad lovers?

They're shellfish in bed.

Couple's Daily Question Mug

Couple's Daily Question Mug

What do you call a lobster dressed up as Santa?

Santa Claws

What did Sean Connery say to a couple of lobsters he saw take up an extra parking space?

You're two shellfish.

What did the man say when the lobster gave him food poisoning?

I'm not letting you cook dinner again

Why don't lobsters ever share anything?

Because they're shellfish

What's the difference between lobsters and crabs?

I don't lobsters!

What did the lobster do at the disco?

Pulled a muscle.

Why didn't crab and lobster like to share?

They were both two shellfish

What's worse than finding a lobster on your piano?

Finding crabs on your organ.

Which one is the odd one out; a Crab, a Tuna, a Chinese man run over by a bus or a Lobster?

A tuna, because the rest of them are crustaceans.

Whats worse than having a lobster on yer piano?

Having crabs on yer organ!

I Love Pizza & You

I Love Pizza & You

What's worse than a lobster on your piano?

Crabs on your organ.

Why don't lobsters share their dinner?

Because they're shellfish!!!

What was the score of the lobster soccer game?

Zero to zero. Lobsters can't kick soccer balls.

Why was the lobster arrested?

Because he was always pinching things.

Where do lobsters buy their work clothes?

Homardware.

What did the lobster say when he saw the mermaid?

Gotta lay off the sea-weed.

Why was the lobster upset?

Because he found out his friends thought he was a little crabby!

How does a lobster answer the phone?

Shello

What the hell did you expect for ten dollars?

Lobster

What did you expect for $10?

Lobsters

We've Got This Love Thing Down

We've Got This Love Thing Down

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There is writing on the White-out.

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While the former is shared by most, the latter is richer.

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What's better than four roses on a piano?

Tulips on an organ.

Why does Helen Keller play piano one-handed?

She sings with the other hand.

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What does a lonely Sean Connery building IKEA products say?

I guess its jusht me, myshelf, and I tonight.

What's the only type of seafood that Sean Connery won't share?

Shelfish

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Why wouldn't the Kabuto share his Potion?

He was a little shellfish.

Why didn't the baby oyster share her little pearl?

She was a little shellfish.

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How can you possibly score over 100%?

I am very pleased with my score of 79.

What do you call it when Paul scores?

Paulinating.

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Why did the marriage between the crab and the shrimp end in a divorce?

Because they were both too Shellfish.

What's worse than spiders on your piano?

Crabs on your organ

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What's Chinese and climbs the Empire State Building?

Ping Pong

How do Chinese parents pick a name for their child?

Throw an aluminum pan down the stairs.

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What kind of cars do shellfish drive?

Mussel cars.

How did the shellfish win the underwater beauty pageant?

Using saxitoxin.