Lobster Jokes

What do you call a lobster dressed up as Santa?

Santa Claws

I've Got a Whole Latte Jokes

$19.99

What did Sean Connery say to a couple of lobsters he saw take up an extra parking space?

You're two shellfish.

What did the man say when the lobster gave him food poisoning?

I'm not letting you cook dinner again.

Why don't lobsters ever share anything?

Because they're shellfish

What's the difference between lobsters and crabs?

I don't lobsters!

What did the lobster do at the disco?

Pulled a muscle.

Why didn't crab and lobster like to share?

They were both two shellfish

What's worse than finding a lobster on your piano?

Finding crabs on your organ.

Which one is the odd one out; a Crab, a Tuna, a Chinese man run over by a bus or a Lobster?

A tuna, because the rest of them are crustaceans.

Whats worse than having a lobster on yer piano?

Having crabs on yer organ!

What's worse than a lobster on your piano?

Crabs on your organ.

Everyday Deserves a Joke

$19.99

Why don't lobsters share their dinner?

Because they're shellfish!!!

What was the score of the lobster soccer game?

Zero to zero. Lobsters can't kick soccer balls.

Why was the lobster arrested?

Because he was always pinching things.

Where do lobsters buy their work clothes?

Homardware.

Why was the lobster upset?

Because he found out his friends thought he was a little crabby!

How does a lobster answer the phone?

Shello

What the hell did you expect for ten dollars?

Lobster

What did you expect for $10?

Lobsters

You might also enjoy:

Run Jokes More Run Jokes

Why did the motorcycle suddenly stop running?

Because it was two tired.

What do you call a temple-running frog?

Amphibiana Jones.

Share Jokes More Share Jokes

Why do I have to share a room with my twin sister?

ME: Because we only anticipated having one of you.

Why don't u share a bed?

Cried Baby Bear.

Organ Jokes More Organ Jokes

What's better than two roses on your piano?

Tulips on your organ.

What did Johann Sebastian Bach do when someone steam-rolled his organ?

He played a flat baroque piece!

Crab Jokes More Crab Jokes

Why could the crab not find a pair of shoes in his size?

Child labor laws forced all the shoe factories to shut down.

Why did the crab hate to share?

He was a little shellfish.

Crush Jokes More Crush Jokes

Why can't the hydraulic press guy bring himself to crush a can of sprite?

Because it's soda pressing

Why are you crying?

Me: You just crushed all the Oreo's in my fanny pack

Chinese Tourist Jokes More Chinese Tourist Jokes

Why do Chinese tourists get disappointed when they visit America?

Because when they buy souvenirs they find out they were made in China.

Couple Jokes More Couple Jokes

What was the most successful love story in Game of Thrones?

Shireen. She was only on Tinder for a couple of minutes.

What do they do with Tickle-Me-Elmo's before he leaves the factory?

Give him a couple of test-tickles.

Santa Jokes More Santa Jokes

What can Santa give away and still keep?

A cold.

Why doesn't Santa have to pay for parking?

Because it's on the house.