Lobster Jokes

What do you call a lobster dressed up as Santa?

Santa Claws

I've Got a Whole Latte Jokes

I've Got a Whole Latte Jokes

What did Sean Connery say to a couple of lobsters he saw take up an extra parking space?

You're two shellfish.

What did the man say when the lobster gave him food poisoning?

I'm not letting you cook dinner again.

Why don't lobsters ever share anything?

Because they're shellfish

What did the lobster do at the disco?

Pulled a muscle.

Why didn't crab and lobster like to share?

They were both two shellfish

What's worse than finding a lobster on your piano?

Finding crabs on your organ.

Whats worse than having a lobster on yer piano?

Having crabs on yer organ!

What's worse than a lobster on your piano?

Crabs on your organ.

Why don't lobsters share their dinner?

Because they're shellfish!!!

What was the score of the lobster soccer game?

Zero to zero. Lobsters can't kick soccer balls.

Everyday Deserves a Joke

Everyday Deserves a Joke

Why was the lobster arrested?

Because he was always pinching things.

Where do lobsters buy their work clothes?

Homardware.

Why was the lobster upset?

Because he found out his friends thought he was a little crabby!

How does a lobster answer the phone?

Shello

What the hell did you expect for ten dollars?

Lobster

What did you expect for $10?

Lobsters

You might also enjoy:

Like Jokes More Like Jokes

What game do tornadoes like to play?

Twister

How can you tell if a Finnish guy likes you?

He's staring at your shoes instead of his own.

Zero Jokes More Zero Jokes

What did the number zero say to the number 8?

I like your belt

What do Zero and Nil have in common?

Absolutely nothing

Crab Jokes More Crab Jokes

Why did the crab take the last slice of pizza?

Because he's shellfish!

Why did the marriage between the crab and the shrimp end in a divorce?

Because they were both too Shellfish.

Couple Jokes More Couple Jokes

What do you call couples that practice pulling out as a method of contraception?

Parents.

How can you tell if a girl is ticklish?

Give her a couple of test tickles...

Santa Jokes More Santa Jokes

What did Santa say when he went to a brothel?

Hoe hoe hoe!

Why was Santa's little helper sad?

Because he had low ELFesteem

Steamroller Jokes More Steamroller Jokes

What do you call The Dynamic Duo after they got hit by a steamroller?

Flatman and Ribbon

What did the evil tin man say when he was run over by a steamroller?

Curses! Foil again!

Break Jokes More Break Jokes

What'd u ask Santa for 6: a speed boat M: like a Lego boat?

6: no M: oh for the bath 6: no M: the pool 6: *doesnt break eye contact* no

Why did the astronomer break up with his girlfriend?

He just needed some space.

Chinese Jokes More Chinese Jokes

How much does a Chinese elephant weigh?

Wonton

What does a Chinese restaurant serve for Easter?

Coloured eggrolls!