Crush Jokes

Why can't the hydraulic press guy bring himself to crush a can of sprite?

Because it's soda pressing

Interactive Joke of the Day Mug

5.0

Coffee Mug

What is it called when your crush has a crush on you too?

Imagination.

What does a 16 year old girl say in West Virginia?

Get off me daddy, you're crushing my smokes

What is that thing called when your crush likes you back?

Imagination.

What does a girl from Arkansas say when she loses her virginity?

Get off me paw, you're crushing my smokes.

What do you call a phallic music scale, crushed under a piano?

D-flat

What do a Chinese tourist who got run over by a bus and a lobster have in common?

They're both crushed-asians

What does a 12 year old redneck girl say when she loses her virginity?

Get off me dad, you're crushing my smokes!

What did the farmer's daughter say when she lost her virginity?

Get off me dad you're crushing my smokes! Or "That'll do pig, that'll do." I have heard it both ways.

Why did Dr.Pepper blush?

He received a Sunkist from his Crush

What did the farmers daughter say when she lost her virginity?

Get off me dad your crushing my smokes!

Couple's Daily Question Mug

5.0

Coffee Mug

What's that thing called when your crush likes you back?

Oh yeah. Imagination.

What did the redneck say when she lost her virginity?

GET OFF ME DAD, you're crushing my cigarettes!

What did the Alabama woman say when she lost her virginity?

Dad you're crushing my cigarettes.

What do u say?

SON: I WILL CRUSH MY ENEMIES ME: *nervous laughter* No, the other thing SON: Oh. Thank you

Why are you crying?

Me: You just crushed all the Oreo's in my fanny pack

What's the first thing a hillbilly says after losing her virginity?

Get off me Daddy, you're crushing my cigarettes.

Why did the two boa constrictors get married?

Because they had a crush on each other!sna

How do you get over a crush you've had since high school?

Leave the dungeon door unlocked.

What do you call a soda in love?

A Crush

What does a girl from Arkansas say just before she loses her virginity?

Careful, dad, or you'll crush my smokes.

How is everything?

ME: Soul crushing and void of meaning W: I meant your meal M: Soul crushing, void of meaning, and needs salt

What does a 14 year-old Native American girl say when she loses her virginity?

Stop Dad, you're crushing me smokes!

What do you call an angry white elephant that likes crushing donkeys and darker elephants?

Donald Trunk.

What's the difference between an iceberg and a clothes brush?

One crushes boats and the other brushes coats!

Why is a lobster similar to a Asian under a steamroller?

They are both crushed-asians

Why did the girl walk past her crush twice?

He didn't believe in love at first sight.

What's a racist photographer's favorite hobby?

Crushing the blacks.

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Chinese Tourist Jokes More Chinese Tourist Jokes

Why do Chinese tourists get disappointed when they visit America?

Because when they buy souvenirs they find out they were made in China.

What do a Chinese tourist who got run over by a bus and a lobster have in common?

They're both crushed-asians

Lobster Jokes More Lobster Jokes

What's worse than finding a lobster on your piano?

Finding crabs on your organ.

What's worse than a lobster on your piano?

Crabs on your organ.

Crush Asian Jokes More Crush Asian Jokes

What's a let down Chinese lobster called?

A crushed asian

What do a Chinese tourist who got run over by a bus and a lobster have in common?

They're both crushed-asians

Daddy Jokes More Daddy Jokes

How does an Alabama girl know shes in for a crazy night?

Her daddy says he wants her in bed by ten.

Who wants to go out to dinner and scream and cry and make daddy wish he wore more condoms?

Kids: WE DO! YAY!

Girl Jokes More Girl Jokes

Why do you look so sad?

Boy explains his whole problem Girl: Oh, that's why you didn't notice my nail paint

What do you say to a girl with a black eye?

Nothing. You already told her.

Step Jokes More Step Jokes

What does a dog do that you step in?

Pants.

What was wrriten on a sign at the entrance of a gas chamber in the Holocaust?

Watch your step

Run Jokes More Run Jokes

What do Romans say when their wives run away?

Caesar!

Why couldn't the salad bowl play Scrabble?

It had run out of lettuce

Crustacean Jokes More Crustacean Jokes

Which one is the odd one out; a Crab, a Tuna, a Chinese man run over by a bus or a Lobster?

A tuna, because the rest of them are crustaceans.

What's the difference between a lobster and a Japanese woman run over by a steamroller?

One's a crustacean and the other is a crushed Asian.