Smoke Jokes

What's the water polo team's favorite song?

Smoke on the Water, because they are always getting roasted.

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What did the big chimney say to the little chimney?

You're too young to smoke. Sorry, it's the first joke I ever learned, and I haven't ever seen it posted.

What did the smoked salmon say after it realised it was no longer ill?

I'm cured!

What kind of weed do reptiles smoke?

Mariguana.

What did the big chimmney say to the little chimmney?

Stop smoking. You are too young to smoke

What did the old chimney say to the younger chimney?

You're too young to smoke!

What do you call a second hand gold necklace?

Recyc-bling (I'm pretty sure I thought of this myself but I used to smoke the Mary Jane a lot so......)

What kind of cigarettes do hippies smoke?

Yours.

What is Lil Jon's favorite flavor of BBQ?

Mesquite squite squite....Forgive me I'm freshly smoked.

How do you stop your children from smoking?

Slow down and use some lubricant.

What happens when you smoke pot in Saudi Arabia?

You get stoned.

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What should you do if your girlfriend starts smoking?

Slow down, and possibly use a lubricant

What type of weed do lizards smoke?

Mariguana.

How do beekeepers keep their bees so chill?

They smoke them out.

What do you call an alpacca that screams when it sees fire?

A smoke aLaama.

What do you call Harrison Ford when he smokes weed?

Han So-High

How do you know that someone likes to smoke weed?

Don't worry they'll tell you.

What did the big chimney say to the smaller chimney?

You're too young to be smoking!

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What's a Scottish cannibal's favorite food?

Mac in cheese

What kind of house does cheese like to live in?

A cottage

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What does a Muslim man call a girl he is living in sin with?

Haram bea

What does a Muslim magician say before his trick?

Araba-cadabra

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What do you call making jokes of a chicken on fire?

Roasting a chicken.

What's the difference between roast beef and pea soup?

Everyone can roast beef, but no one can pea soup.

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What do you call a belt made of paper?

A waist of paper.

What do you get if you cross a labrador and a tortoise?

A dog that will run to the shop to get your paper and bring back last weeks paper!

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Why did the lobster blush?

Because the see weed.

What type of weed does a reptile smoke?

Mariiguana

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Why did Julius Caesar want to quit politics?

All that backstabbing was too much for him.

What do you call a guy that used to fight in the ring, but quit it all for video games?

An ex-boxer.

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Why did Jesus go to a Candy shop?

To Test a Mint