Roast Jokes

What's the difference between roast beef and pea soup?

Everyone can roast beef, but no one can pea soup.

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What's the water polo team's favorite song?

Smoke on the Water, because they are always getting roasted.

Why is the peanut crying?

Because he couldn't handle his roast

Why shouldn't you put a baby in the microwave?

Because you get better results from slowly roasting it in the oven.

What do you call making jokes of a chicken on fire?

Roasting a chicken.

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What do you call a smart knife?

Cleaver! EDIT: Also Sharp, knew about this one but I like Cleaver better.

How do u know if a company that just hired you conducts drug tests?

What is the likelihood it will be a hairtest

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What should you do if your girlfriend starts smoking?

Slow down, and possibly use a lubricant

What do you get when you smoke pot with a bee in a candy shop?

A sweet buzz!

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What did the cow say to the slaughterhouse worker?

You want some beef

Why don't Hindu rappers have battle raps?

Because they got no beef.

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What do you call it when two high people get in an argument?

A pot roast.

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What is the difference between roast beef and pee soup?

You can roast beef.

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What do you get if you cross a steer and a chicken?

Roost beef!

Why are elephants wiser than chickens?

Have you ever heard of Kentucky Fried Elephant!

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Why does a dentist seem moody?

Because he always looks down in the mouth.

Why couldn't the cat speak?

The dog taped his mouth.

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Why is a sofa like a roast chicken?

Because they're both full of stuffing!

What's the difference between roast chicken and pea soup?

I can roast chicken but I can't pea soup