Roast Jokes

What's the difference between roast beef and pea soup?

Everyone can roast beef, but no one can pea soup.

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What's the water polo team's favorite song?

Smoke on the Water, because they are always getting roasted.

Why is the peanut crying?

Because he couldn't handle his roast

Why shouldn't you put a baby in the microwave?

Because you get better results from slowly roasting it in the oven.

What do you call making jokes of a chicken on fire?

Roasting a chicken.

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Chicken Jokes More Chicken Jokes

Why do chickens sit on their eggs?

Because they don't have chairs.

Why did the chicken attend the seance?

To get to the other side.

Beef Jokes More Beef Jokes

What is it called when two Vegans get into an argument?

A Beef

What do you call it when you dip poultry and beef in chocolate?

Brown-chichen-Brown-cow

Good Friend Jokes More Good Friend Jokes

Why were the welder and stoner such good friends?

They both love to spark up joints.

What's the worst part about driving Ford off a cliff?

Ford was my best friend.

Know Jokes More Know Jokes

What's the final digit of the square root of 2 (2)?

I don't know, sometimes radicals can be irrational.

What's the first thing a woman does after leaving spousal abuse therapy?

The dishes, if she knows what's good for her!

Time Bomb Jokes More Time Bomb Jokes

How can you tell when witches are carrying a time bomb?

You can hear their brooms tick!

What really ticks people off?

Time bombs.

Handle Jokes More Handle Jokes

What's Paul Walker's favorite energy drink???

N.O.S. too bad he can't handle the crash...

Why was the surfer such a bad cook?

All he could handle was the microwave

Pea Jokes More Pea Jokes

What's an idealist vegetarian's favorite meal?

Peas and hominy

How do you make a blonde's brain the size of a pea?

Inflate it.

Dinner Jokes More Dinner Jokes

What veggies are the kids having with dinner?

Me: (Smacking the bottom of a ketchup bottle) Fresh Tomatoes...

What did you have for breakfast?

Pea Soup Q: What did you have for lunch A: Pea Soup Q: What did you have for dinner A: Pea Soup Q: What did you do all night A: Pee soup...