Beef Jokes

What's the difference between roast beef and pea soup?

Everyone can roast beef, but no one can pea soup.

April Sale

Birthday State of Mind

$5.99

What is it called when two Vegans get into an argument?

A Beef

Why did the vegan avoid the confrontation?

He didn't want any beef.

What's the one thing pacifism and Hinduism have in common?

Those who practice them don't want any beef with people.

What do chicken, beef and Russia have in common?

They are all against Turkey

What do you call a Knight that cuts beef?

Sir Loin.

What was the beef doing as he watched the salad dressing?

Stroganoff

Why did the cheeseburger fight the veggie burger?

It had beef.

What does Chick-fil-A and their CEO have in common?

Both hate when people stick beef between two buns.

Why don't Hindu rappers have battle raps?

Because they got no beef.

What do you call beef that's been burned?

A mis-steak.

April Sale

I've Got a Whole Latte Jokes

$14.99 $19.99

What did the mad cow say to the other cow?

You don't want beef with me

What do you call a woman made out of beef?

Patty

What did the human torch say before he cooked the beef?

FILET MIGNON!**

Why is the beef in Colorado so good?

Because the steaks are high.

Why can't the bankrupt cowboy complain?

He has got no beef.

What do you call it when you dip poultry and beef in chocolate?

Brown-chichen-Brown-cow

Who's there! Beef! Beef who?

Beef fair now!

What do you call cow without a girlfriend?

Beef Stroken off

Why can't you use "Beef stew"as a password?

Because it's not stroganoff.

You might also enjoy:

Cow Jokes More Cow Jokes

What do cows wear when they're vacationing in Hawaii?

Moo moos

What's the difference between a cow and September 11?

You stop milking a cow after 10 years.

Lean Beef Jokes More Lean Beef Jokes

What do you call cows with 2 legs?

Lean beef. bonus: What do you call cows with no legs Ground beef.

What do you call a cow with only legs on one side?

Lean Beef.

Roast Jokes More Roast Jokes

What's the difference between roast beef and pea soup?

Everyone can roast beef, but no one can pea soup.

What did Santa say when he had to travel through the desert?

My chestnuts are roasting

Q Jokes More Q Jokes

What did capital 'O' say to capital 'Q'?

Hey, put that thing back in your trousers!

How do you get a baby into a shoebox?

A. With a blender. Q. How do you get a baby out of a shoebox? A. With a straw.

Beef Jerky Jokes More Beef Jerky Jokes

What's beef jerky?

Dried parts of a cow that had Parkinson's.

What do you call a lonely cow?

Beef Jerky

Hear Jokes More Hear Jokes

What is your best weed/stoner related joke?

I've never heard any good ones so please give me your best!

What's the difference between an enzyme and a hormone?

You can't hear an enzyme.

Pee Soup Jokes More Pee Soup Jokes

What did you have for breakfast?

Pea Soup Q: What did you have for lunch A: Pea Soup Q: What did you have for dinner A: Pea Soup Q: What did you do all night A: Pee soup...

What is the difference between roast beef and pee soup?

You can roast beef.

Time Jokes More Time Jokes

How many times did I tell you to make your bed?

Jane: I can't answer. I didn't know I was supposed to keep count!

What do men and tile floors have in common?

If you lay them right the first time, you can walk all over them for years.