Beef Jokes

What's the difference between roast beef and pea soup?

Everyone can roast beef, but no one can pea soup.

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What is it called when two Vegans get into an argument?

A Beef

Why did the vegan avoid the confrontation?

He didn't want any beef.

What's the one thing pacifism and Hinduism have in common?

Those who practice them don't want any beef with people.

What do chicken, beef and Russia have in common?

They are all against Turkey

What do you call a Knight that cuts beef?

Sir Loin.

What was the beef doing as he watched the salad dressing?

Stroganoff

Why did the cheeseburger fight the veggie burger?

It had beef.

What does Chick-fil-A and their CEO have in common?

Both hate when people stick beef between two buns.

Why don't Hindu rappers have battle raps?

Because they got no beef.

What do you call beef that's been burned?

A mis-steak.

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What did the mad cow say to the other cow?

You don't want beef with me

What do you call a woman made out of beef?

Patty

What did the human torch say before he cooked the beef?

FILET MIGNON!**

Why is the beef in Colorado so good?

Because the steaks are high.

Why can't the bankrupt cowboy complain?

He has got no beef.

What do you call it when you dip poultry and beef in chocolate?

Brown-chichen-Brown-cow

Who's there! Beef! Beef who?

Beef fair now!

What do you call cow without a girlfriend?

Beef Stroken off

Why can't you use "Beef stew"as a password?

Because it's not stroganoff.

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Font Jokes More Font Jokes

Why did the architect take so long to get started on his church blueprints?

He couldn't decide what font to use.

What font was used on Wyatt Earp's tombstone?

Sans Sheriff.

Day Jokes More Day Jokes

When was Rome built?

Pupil: At night. Teacher: Why did you say that Pupil: Because my Dad always says that Rome wasn't built in a day!

What will I have at the end of the day?

Three bags of skittles and a small body to hide.

Lean Beef Jokes More Lean Beef Jokes

What do you call a cow with only two legs?

Lean Beef.

What do you call a cow with only legs on one side?

Lean Beef.

Leg Ground Beef Jokes More Leg Ground Beef Jokes

What do you call a cow... What do you call a cow with two legs?

Lean Beef. What do you call a cow with no legs Ground beef. What do you call a cow with epilepsy Beef Jerky.

What do you call cows with 2 legs?

Lean beef. bonus: What do you call cows with no legs Ground beef.

Roast Jokes More Roast Jokes

What's the water polo team's favorite song?

Smoke on the Water, because they are always getting roasted.

Why is the peanut crying?

Because he couldn't handle his roast

Ground Beef Jokes More Ground Beef Jokes

What do you call a cow that just tripped?

Ground Beef

What do you call a cow on the barnyard floor?

Ground Beef

Q Jokes More Q Jokes

Why can't a blonde dial 911?

Q: Why can't a blonde dial 911? A: She can't find the eleven.

How do you get from Iran to Iraq without moving?

You switch the 'n' with 'q'.

Time Jokes More Time Jokes

What does a time traveler do when he's hungry?

He goes back 4 seconds.

How do you know if someone has a Samsung phone without asking?

Don't worry, they've already told you the superior qualities it has over all the other smart phones by this time.