What's red like a strawberry, hard like beef jerky, smells like vinegar, and is found under your bed?

Me neither. Help.

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Bed Jokes More Bed Jokes

What does a dyslexic, agnostic insomniac do at night?

Lie in bed wondering "Is there really a dog?"

What do tigers wear in bed?

Stripey pyjamas!

Find Jokes More Find Jokes

Which snakes are found on cars?

Windscreen vipers.

How many MP's does it take to change a lightbulb?

Twenty-one. One to change it and twenty to form a fact-finding committee to learn more about how it's done.

Beef Jerky Jokes More Beef Jerky Jokes

What do you call a twitching cow?

Beef Jerky

What's red like a strawberry, hard like beef jerky, smells like vinegar, and is found under your bed?

Me neither. Help.

Smell Jokes More Smell Jokes

Why doesn't men use make-up or perfume?

Because we're beautiful and smell good!

What do you get if you cross a skunk and a boomerang?

A smell that keeps coming back!

Help Jokes More Help Jokes

How do you help a choking pig?

With the Ham-Lick maneuver of course

Why didn't Cathy keep the extra dollar of change at Chick-fil-a?

Because Cathy can't help being Truett-ful

Stra Wberry Jokes More Stra Wberry Jokes

Why was the strawberry crying?

Because it's mom was in a real jam.

Why did the strawberry cry?

Because his mother was in a jam.

Vinegar Jokes More Vinegar Jokes

What do you get if you cross a cat with a bottle of vinegar?

A sourpuss!

Why did the farmer feed his pigs sugar and vinegar?

He wanted sweet and sour pork!