When dad Waits to see you on thanks giving Son:We just Ate Dad:OK so you can be here at 5?

Son:We'll see Son:how does the turkey smell Dad: I guess through its Beak

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Thank Jokes More Thank Jokes

How do French thank who save their files?

Merci backup.

How old?

Woman: "Thanks, she's 34 weeks. Do you have the time " Me: "Sure, it's 972 minutes past midnight."

Dad Jokes More Dad Jokes

What do you say when you catch a deer with no eyes?

I have no-eye-deer! (Unless you're a dad, you may need to sound it out)

Why dad?

He asks. Because my arm is getting tired

Eat Jokes More Eat Jokes

What do vegetarian zombies eat?

Grrrrrainnnnnssss.

Why does little Timmy keep throwing up gang signs?

Because he ate too much of them.

Son Jokes More Son Jokes

What does the son of God do when he is the victim of medical malpractice?

Jesus

What is the extreme limit of laziness?

Son "Having an adopted son."

5 Jokes More 5 Jokes

How do you cut a turd into 5 pieces?

Squish it in your hand.

Why wasn't Boy George any good at English?

Because he always put 5 commas before chameleon.

Smell Jokes More Smell Jokes

What to you call someone with no torso who can't smell?

Nobody knows.

What do you have on?

The man says, "I have a hard on but I didn't know you could smell it."

Turkey Jokes More Turkey Jokes

What did the mother turkey say to her naughty son Tom?

If your dad knew how you were acting he'd roll over in his gravy

Where does a Turkey live?

A coup.

Guess Jokes More Guess Jokes

Where is everybody?

Everybody I don't know. All over the planet I guess.

When people on Facebook say they lost their phone and need everyone's numbers again, I text them: "Guess who?

For 2 weeks.

Wait Jokes More Wait Jokes

What is this alien looking thing in a wig trying to sing?

Oh wait thats Nicki Minaj. Why would an alien in a wig pick Nicki Minaj as a name

Why put off until tomorrow what you can do today?

Me: It'll be higher quality and less tense for everyone if we wait Boss: Today!

Beak Jokes More Beak Jokes

What's a young birds favourite game?

BEAK A BOO!

What did one chicken say to the other after they walked through poison ivy?

You scratch my beak and I'll scratch yours!