How old?

Woman: "Thanks, she's 34 weeks. Do you have the time " Me: "Sure, it's 972 minutes past midnight."

Oranges have thick skin. Let the downvotes fly, people! You've only got one! Edit: Did not expect this joke to get this good of a reception. Thanks, guys!

How good are you with Microsoft PowerPoint?

I Excel at it." "Did you just make a Microsoft Office pun, sir " "Word." Edit: thanks u/SteveJobsiGhost

Time Jokes More Time Jokes

What do you call a belt made out of watches?

A waist of time.

What happens to garlic sauce over time?

The sausages.

Woman Jokes More Woman Jokes

How do you know when a woman is about to say some thing intelligent?

She starts her sentance with "A man once told me"

What is 18 inches long, pink, squishy, and makes women cry?

SIDS

Midnight Jokes More Midnight Jokes

Why did the blond lay out on the lawn chair in her bikini at midnight?

She wanted to get a dark tan.

What did the two narwhals say at midnight?

Nothing, they just baconed.