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How old?

Woman: "Thanks, she's 34 weeks. Do you have the time " Me: "Sure, it's 972 minutes past midnight."

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Thank Jokes More Thank Jokes

What do pirates say when they find buried treasure?

Thanks for the gold!

What do you call a dead chicken that likes to throw things?

A geist. Thanks! I will show myself out.

Time Jokes More Time Jokes

What would you get if Geddy Lee, Neil Peart and Alex Lifeson all died in a plane crash?

Take your time, there's no Rush...

What time is it when your watchdog lets a robber take the family silver?

Time to get a new watchdog.

Woman Jokes More Woman Jokes

Why was the women unable to leave the boutique?

She couldn't find the Dior

What does a neckbeard call a woman he meets at a fast food joint?

McLady.

Midnight Jokes More Midnight Jokes

How does a blonde set the time on her alarm clock?

She waits until midnight and plugs it back in. Disclaimer: I know it's terrible, I was very young when I came up with it.

What did the two narwhals say at midnight?

Nothing, they just baconed.