A snowfake.
Timing
They're always plotting against it.
Shedding season
Why, wouldn't the winter be over by the time they reach, if they walk all the way along? So they fly.
Because, time will always tell.
If you don't pull out in time, it will cost you a lot of money. My boss said he made this up on the spot yesterday. Never heard it before so I figured I'd post it.
I'd tell you happy birthday, but to me, you've been dead for centuries
He goes back 4 seconds.
Because Russia was Stalin
One steppe at a time.
Whenever he had the energy, he didn't have the time.
Supperman. Or his kid Soup-erman. One just gets to dinner on time and the other is really good and making soup. E: I thought of it in it in a dream so thats why its not so good
Work over time
Staying up all night wondering if there really is a dog.
Just a little before Eve
Uranium gets to its half-life on time.
7-Eleven on the dot.
None, the beer should be open by the time she has brought it to you.
8 mile
It saves so much time.
Because the time they spend parking doesnt count.
Ten-ish.
He never got up by the time he counted to 10 Edit: Phrasing
Tree turdy.
When the big hand touches the little hand.
Because it's the only time 'rich' and 'dark' are used to describe the same thing.
He Jar Jar Blinked.
MC Escher
You can do this twice. One time with you right eye and one with your left!
Two-forty (use an Irish accent)... It's two-farty
It wastes your time and you walk away with either tears or a slight chuckle.
An outlet
Spent too much time figuring out the Engels, so he didnt get the Marx.... thats what he gets for Stalin
Choco-late.
He needed some time to himself to decompose.
The Millenial Falcon.
Oh don't mind him, he's just the product of our times!
None, because they keep on asking why all of the other light bulbs in the house aren't being changed at the same time.
He spends all of his time on the dashboard.
The long long farm.
The screen stays black when you check the time.
The time God took to cook us
Because you lose every time you talk about him ()
LMao Zedong
Because they spend too much time with the x-position
Because every time he puts up a prayer it gets answered. (I thought of this myself, but it is so corny, it could easily be in every damn joke book.)
Because he doesn't know the time of day.
James Bonding bah dun tss
9/11 victims, they went through 87 stories in 15 seconds
Mourning
So the blue and red sections are easily removed during a time of war.
He over 'd
Dad: Where is the best place to hide an elephant? Me: I don't know, behind a big rock? Dad: In a tree silly. Me: In a tree? Dad: When's the last time you saw an elephant in a tree?
Because...bros before hose!
Because it reminded him that time was moving forward.
One to screw in the lightbulb, stock four carts of supplies, and handle seventeen simultaneous customers at any one time for five consecutive hours.
She waits until midnight and plugs it back in. Disclaimer: I know it's terrible, I was very young when I came up with it.
He always came on time.
He wanted to be on time.
Juans upon a time.
Times fun when you're having flies
A meander-thal!
Nothing, it just waved... Prolly my favorite joke of all time, maybe ever.
Jim Jones, I heard he took out 909 people with one punch.
Tennish
Everything, given enough time
A waist of time...
Your Ti"ming"!
I bought some thyme yesterday.
Ah-so-late!
A Clock-18
Every time someone said "Get down!" they jumped up and started dancing.
Time to try the udder one.
An chestra.
Urine-nation!
The Cat: because is a cat and a spider :)... oh, wait.
I'll be Bach.
Tooth hurty.
Because he was Uber busy.
Oily!
It's mistaken for granite.
They shake hands.
A widow
Stall
M'llenium
Cryptic code.
When a woman rejects feminism.
By the time they said "I'm not that kind of girl" they were.
Same time next month?
Someone that didn't take it out in time.
A crustacean
I don't know,Alaska guy and tell you
About tennish.
I nominate Chris Rock's Never Scared.
At the Schopenhauer.
Don't worry, they've already told you the superior qualities it has over all the other smart phones by this time.
4:04
The Devil's advocado.
You get an unpleasant vowel movement.
Because he is an x-boxer
X-Men.
Student: "By staying home"
Mothmatics!
Urine it.
Piece of cake
Metal Gears
You don't, there's already a clock on the stove.
Barbecue tonight!
With the NHL season getting started tonight. I am wondering what are you best jokes making fun off sports teams. All Sports (Baseball,hockey,football, soccer etc).
Grandpa: Oh you know with my hands mostly.
Because they're stuck between a 69.
Credit to one of the writers from Bob's Burgers).
It has terrible characters, Noah is the only one with an arc.
