A snowfake.
Timing
They're always plotting against it.
Shedding season
Why, wouldn't the winter be over by the time they reach, if they walk all the way along? So they fly.
Because, time will always tell.
If you don't pull out in time, it will cost you a lot of money. My boss said he made this up on the spot yesterday. Never heard it before so I figured I'd post it.
I'd tell you happy birthday, but to me, you've been dead for centuries
He goes back 4 seconds.
Because Russia was Stalin
One steppe at a time.
Whenever he had the energy, he didn't have the time.
Supperman. Or his kid Soup-erman. One just gets to dinner on time and the other is really good and making soup. E: I thought of it in it in a dream so thats why its not so good
Work over time
Staying up all night wondering if there really is a dog.
Just a little before Eve
Uranium gets to its half-life on time.
None, the beer should be open by the time she has brought it to you.
8 mile
It saves so much time.
Because the time they spend parking doesnt count.
Ten-ish.
Tree turdy.
When the big hand touches the little hand.
He Jar Jar Blinked.
MC Escher
You can do this twice. One time with you right eye and one with your left!
Two-forty (use an Irish accent)... It's two-farty
It wastes your time and you walk away with either tears or a slight chuckle.
An outlet
Spent too much time figuring out the Engels, so he didnt get the Marx.... thats what he gets for Stalin
Choco-late.
He needed some time to himself to decompose.
The Millenial Falcon.
Oh don't mind him, he's just the product of our times!
None, because they keep on asking why all of the other light bulbs in the house aren't being changed at the same time.
The long long farm.
The screen stays black when you check the time.
The time God took to cook us
Because you lose every time you talk about him ()
LMao Zedong
Because they spend too much time with the x-position
Because every time he puts up a prayer it gets answered. (I thought of this myself, but it is so corny, it could easily be in every damn joke book.)
James Bonding bah dun tss
9/11 victims, they went through 87 stories in 15 seconds
Mourning
He over 'd
Because it reminded him that time was moving forward.
One to screw in the lightbulb, stock four carts of supplies, and handle seventeen simultaneous customers at any one time for five consecutive hours.
She waits until midnight and plugs it back in. Disclaimer: I know it's terrible, I was very young when I came up with it.
He wanted to be on time.
Juans upon a time.
Times fun when you're having flies
A meander-thal!
Nothing, it just waved... Prolly my favorite joke of all time, maybe ever.
Tennish
Everything, given enough time
A waist of time...
I bought some thyme yesterday.
Ah-so-late!
A Clock-18
Every time someone said "Get down!" they jumped up and started dancing.
Time to try the udder one.
An chestra.
Urine-nation!
The Cat: because is a cat and a spider :)... oh, wait.
I'll be Bach.
Tooth hurty.
Because he was Uber busy.
Oily!
It's mistaken for granite.
They shake hands.
A widow
Stall
Cryptic code.
Same time next month?
Someone that didn't take it out in time.
I don't know,Alaska guy and tell you
About tennish.
I nominate Chris Rock's Never Scared.
At the Schopenhauer.
Don't worry, they've already told you the superior qualities it has over all the other smart phones by this time.
4:04
In meowers
Tennish.
A Pair-a-ducks.
Aw sheet! One of my favorite, cheesiest jokes of all time. Thought it would be a good first post to Reddit!
Ten tickles
The first couple of times you cough, the loogeys aren't yours!
20 after 1.
OCD, OCD, OCD. Wait the last time didn't feel right. OCD, OCD, OCD. Wait, the second time didn't feel right. OCD, OCD, OCD. Wait...
You take the letter "f" out of the word "way" (there's no f in way) *joke works best when the person being asked the question has to think about it for some time and says the phrase themselves without realizing what they said
Dominoes. Falling one at a time.
The sausages.
He was taking a sheet.
He wasn't comfortable with having that much time on his hands.
Juan nail at a time.
Smallpox
X-Men
A Muslim
To get to the bigger crowd
The location of the dirtbag.
Echo-location, location, location (Replace "bat" with "zubat" if you wish.)
Three... The one on the left The one on the right And of course, the Final Front Ear
A borkmark.
Tell her a joke on Wednesday!
Once when you tell it once when you tell her the punchline and once when she gets it.
You keep it waiting for three hours!
You wait here, I'm going to go on a head.
As Mandy Moore times as I want to.
If you lay them right the first time, you can walk all over them for years.
They distrust clocks.
