Why do women live on average two years longer?

Because the time they spend parking doesnt count.

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Time Jokes More Time Jokes

Why was Jesus a virgin when he died?

Every time he touched a "wound" it closed.

What time are most dental appointments scheduled for?

Tooth hurty.

Year Jokes More Year Jokes

How much did Adidas spend in advertising at the World Cup this year?

At least a brazillion dollars...

What do you call a snowman who cons people?

A snowfake.

Woman Jokes More Woman Jokes

What do women and hand grenades have in common?

When you pull the ring off, your house goes away

What do women and linoleum have in common?

If you lay them just right you can walk on them for years.

Live Jokes More Live Jokes

What lives in the sea and preys on mermaids?

Jack The Kipper.

Why is Santa such a jolly old elf?

He knows where the naughty girls live.

Count Jokes More Count Jokes

What do you say to the cashier when you're adamant about using an expired coupon?

Dis counts!!

Why couldn't Miss Piggy count to 70?

She got a frog stuck in her throat at 69.

Spend Jokes More Spend Jokes

What do you call someone who spends 24 hours a day on the Internet?

Anything you like they're not listening to you anyway.

What did the teacher say after spending thousands in the expensive hotel?

I'm sorry to leave now that I've almost bought the place.

Parking Jokes More Parking Jokes

Why doesn't Santa have to pay for parking?

Because it's on the house.

Why do women live on average two years longer?

Because the time they spend parking doesnt count.