What did the teacher say after spending thousands in the expensive hotel?

I'm sorry to leave now that I've almost bought the place.

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Leave Jokes More Leave Jokes

Why did the melon leave her boyfriend?

He said he can't elope.

Why couldn't the NSA whistleblower leave Russia?

He was snowed in.

Buy Jokes More Buy Jokes

What does the customer say to the worker as he leaves the store after buying a discounted item?

Good buy.

Why was the Muslim sad when he bought a pirated disc?

Because the Disc was cracked

Spend Jokes More Spend Jokes

How many triage nurses does it take to change a light bulb?

One but the bulb will have to spend four hours in the waiting room.

What does an agnostic, dyslexic insomniac spend his time doing?

Staying up all night wondering if there really is a dog.

Teacher Jokes More Teacher Jokes

What do you call a teacher that's always late?

Mr. Bus (think about it)

What's a difference between a teacher and a train?

The teacher tells you to spit you gum out. The train says, "Chew, chew, chew!"

Place Jokes More Place Jokes

Where did AT&ampT get their 2007 slogan?

Ireland: More bars in more places

What did one the left headphone say to the right headphone as they walked through a haunted house?

This place feels earie.

Thousand Jokes More Thousand Jokes

What do you cal a campsite trampled by thousands of tiny insects?

A gnatural disaster.

How does a blonde count a thousand sheep?

She counts the legs, and divides by 4.