What did the teacher say after spending thousands in the expensive hotel?

I'm sorry to leave now that I've almost bought the place.

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Leave Jokes More Leave Jokes

Why couldnt you trust Castros wife?

Because at one point, she was infidel. Ok ill leave now

Why couldn't the whistleblower leave his driveway?

Because he was snowed in.

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What's the best time to buy a bird?

When it goes cheep!

How do you make a computer your best friend?

You buy it a nice bunch of software and get it loaded!

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What do Maroon 5 and Jack Reacher have in common?

They both spend all their money on payphones.

What do you call a spy that likes to spend time with his son?

James Bonding bah dun tss

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What did the teacher do with the student's cheese report?

She grated it.

Why wouldn't the teacher fart in public?

Because she was a private tutor

Place Jokes More Place Jokes

Why did the drunk fall asleep at the wheel?

He needed a place to crash.

Where did AT&ampT get their 2007 slogan?

Ireland: More bars in more places

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What does Miley Cyrus have for Christmas Dinner?

Twerky! I thought of that yesterday, apologies if you've heard it a thousand times already.

How does a blonde count a thousand sheep?

She counts the legs, and divides by 4.