What do you call a snowman who cons peo...

Think Jokes More Think Jokes

What do you call a horse that's thinking of home?

Mentally in-stable.

How many Biology undergrads does it take to change a lightbulb?

Just one, but doing it will make them think they're going to be an electrician in the future.

People Jokes More People Jokes

What can a yakuza do for living when he doesn't want to hurt people?

Tattoo master

What language do farsighted people speak?

Farsi.

Tell Jokes More Tell Jokes

What does Dracula say when you tell him a new fact?

Well fangcy that!

What did the car baby say to his car dad?

Hey dad, let's tell a joke for car ma!

Christmas Jokes More Christmas Jokes

What's an atheist's favorite Christmas movie?

Coincidence on 34th Street

What does a cat in the desert and Christmas have in common?

They both have Sandy Claws.

Xmas Jokes More Xmas Jokes

What do you call a snowman who cons people?

A snowfake.

What lies on the bottom of the sea and shakes?

A nervous wreck! I first heard this at xmas 1952 (64 years ago) and it still makes me smile.

Snowman Jokes More Snowman Jokes

Why is it quicker to build a snowman than a snowwoman?

It takes too long to hollow out her head. (I got this one from my uncle)

What kind of money do snowmen use?

Iced lolly.

Time Jokes More Time Jokes

What type of gun do time travelers use?

A Clock-18

What did the time traveler say at the birthday party?

I'd tell you happy birthday, but to me, you've been dead for centuries

Year Jokes More Year Jokes

What do you call a blonde in a closet?

Last years hide and seek champion

Why do pirates take so long to learn the alphabet?

Because they often spend years at C EDIT: made it more punny

Merry Jokes More Merry Jokes

What is another name for Santa's elves?

Subordinate Clauses! Merry Christmas everyone.

Why can't horses fix merry go rounds?

They'd be terrified

Permission Jokes More Permission Jokes

What do you call a drunk executioner?

A dun-GIN keeper. Edit: You have my permission to post this on r/dadjokes

What do you call a sick bird of prey that enters the country without permission?

An ill-eagle

Con Jokes More Con Jokes

What's the opposite of pro?

Con. So what's the opposite of progress

What is the opposite of pro?

Con. What is the opposite of progress Congress.

Attend Jokes More Attend Jokes

Why didn't the insomniac attend his uncle's funeral?

He's not a mourning person

Why should you attend someone's funeral although you know they won't be attend yours back?

Because they will be at your funeral in spirit