What do you call a snowman who cons peo...

Think Jokes More Think Jokes

What do you think you're doing parking your car there?

Motorist: I thought it was good place. It says "Safety Zone."

What does Pontiac stand for?

Poor, Old, Niagga, Thinks, It's, A, Cadillac. Ba dum tssss

People Jokes More People Jokes

What do New York McDonald's employees and people who read Ulysses have in common?

Liberal Arts Degrees.

Why are TV's attracted to people?

Because we turn them on. / /

Tell Jokes More Tell Jokes

What did the gamer wife told his gamer husband after they got divorced?

Good support in-game, bad in giving child support. gg no re

Why wouldn't the mouse tell the police where he hid the cheese?

Because he's not a rat.

Christmas Jokes More Christmas Jokes

What am I not taking on Christmas this year?

Noels

What did the guy without hands get for Christmas?

We don't know, he hasn't opened the present yet

Xmas Jokes More Xmas Jokes

What has eight arms and tells the time?

A clocktopus Shoutout to the popper from my Xmas dinner

What lies on the bottom of the sea and shakes?

A nervous wreck! I first heard this at xmas 1952 (64 years ago) and it still makes me smile.

Snowman Jokes More Snowman Jokes

What is the best joke you have heard that was on the end of a Popsicle stick?

Here is mine: Q: Where do snowmen dance --------- A: At the snowball. Best joke at the end of a Popsicle stick

Why is it impossible to surprise a snowman?

He has ice in the back of his head. Get it He has ice in the back of his head. Get it

Time Jokes More Time Jokes

What does a dyslexic, agnostic, insomniac spend most of his time doing?

Staying up all night wondering if there really is a dog.

How many Virgos does it take to change a lightbulb?

Virgos don't have time to change their own lightbulbs. They're too busy changing them for everyone else.

Year Jokes More Year Jokes

What do women and floor tiles have in common?

If you lay them right the first time, you can walk all over them for years.

What's life like in the year 3000?

It's pretty much the same as 2015 but you can download a towel

Merry Jokes More Merry Jokes

What do you call someone who would do anything for a chocolate snack cake?

A ho ho ho. (merry xmas!)

What does Santa say when he meets your wife, your sister and your mother?

HO HO HO, Merry Christmas!

Permission Jokes More Permission Jokes

Why did the Islamic woman die when she fell into the ocean?

She thought to yell for help, but her husband was nowhere around to grant her permission to do so.