Snowman Jokes

What do you call a snowman who cons people?

A snowfake.

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Why couldn't anyone trust the snowman to do anything?

He was kinda flakey

What did one Snowman say to the other Snowman?

Can you smell carrot?

What is the difference between a snowman and a snowwoman?

Snowballs.

Why did the snowman get fired from his job?

He was a snow call, snow show.

What's the difference between snowmen and snow women?

Snow balls. Ha

What does snowman say to the other snowman?

It smells of carrots!

When is it too cold to build a snowman?

When the frostbite is worse then the frostbark.

Why was the snowman smiling?

He saw the snowblower coming

How do snowmen get around?

By icicle.

What do you get if you cross a shark with a snowman?

An empty playground

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Where do snowmen go to dance?

The snowball!

Why is it impossible to surprise a snowman?

He has ice in the back of his head. Get it He has ice in the back of his head. Get it

What did the snowman say when he got coal for Christmas?

I can see!

What did the snowman do when he saw a snow blower go by?

Pull down his pants.

Why did the snowman pull down his pants?

Because he saw the snowblower coming

Where does a snowman keep his money?

In a snow bank!

Why aren't snowmen called snow women?

Because they're in the kitchen melting.

Why did the snowman have his pants down?

Because he heard the snowblower was coming.

What's orange and sounds like a carrot!!!????

A snowman blowing his nose!!!!!!!!

Why did Frosty the Snowman pull down his pants?

He heard the snow-blower was coming.

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How do you make a Snowman smile?

Tell him the snowblower is coming.

Why can't you trust a snowman?

Because they're all a bunch of flakes

Why did the snowman take his pants off?

He heard the snow blower was coming.

Why did the snowman have a smile on his face?

Because the snowblower was coming down the block.

What happens when you mix a snowman and a vampire?

Frostbite

What do you call a snowman in the summer?

A puddle

What did Jack Frost say to Frosty the Snowman?

Have an ice day!

What do Snowmen call their offspring?

Chill-dren.

What would you get if you crossed a snowman and a vampire?

Frostbite!

How do snowmen travel around?

By iceicle!

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Why did the snowman smile?

Because the snowblower is coming.

Where do snowmen put their webpages?

On the winternet.

What is the best joke you have heard that was on the end of a Popsicle stick?

Here is mine: Q: Where do snowmen dance --------- A: At the snowball. Best joke at the end of a Popsicle stick

Where do snowmen go to dance?

Snowballs!

Where do snowmen keep their money?

In a snowbank!

What do you get if cross a snowman and a shark?

Frost bite!

What di you call a snowman in May?

A puddle!

Why was the snowman infertile?

He had snow balls

Where does a snowman put his birthday candles?

On his birthday flake!

Why did the snowman call his dog Frost?

Because frost bites!

How do you scare a snowman?

You get a hairdryer!

Why did Frosty the Snowman want a divorce?

Because he thought his wife was a flake.

What happens when breed a shark and snowman?

You get a frostbite!

What does the snowman call his wife?

Snowblower

What does a snowman say to his son on his birthday?

Dad joke) Happy Brr-day son!

What did the snowman and his wife put over their baby's crib?

A snowmobile!

How do you know when there is a snowman in your bed?

You wake up wet!

What kind of money do snowmen use?

Iced lolly.

How do snowmen read their e-mails?

With an icy-stare!

What two letters of the alphabet do snowmen prefer?

I.C.!

Why does it take longer to make a snow woman than a Snowman?

Because you have to hollow out the head.

Who doesn't like to sit in front of the fire?

A Snowman.

How does a Snowman get to work?

By icicle.

What do snowmen wear on their heads?

Ice caps!

What did the Mexican princess ask her sister?

Tijuana build a snowman

Why did the Snowman pull his pants down?

Because the snowblower was coming.

How did the snowman get happy?

The snowblower came around

What did the sun say after melting Frosty the Snowman?

I came, I thaw, I conquered.

What would happen if you were to cross two snowmen with three vampires?

You would get severe frostbite.

Why is it quicker to build a snowman than a snowwoman?

It takes too long to hollow out her head. (I got this one from my uncle)

What did one snowman say to the other snow man?

Do you smell carrot?

What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?

Frostbite.

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Head Jokes More Head Jokes

What does 007 wear on his head?

A Bondana.

When is a Pixie not a Pixie?

When its head is up a Fairy's skirt, then it's a goblin.

Carrot Jokes More Carrot Jokes

What did one Snowman say to the other Snowman?

Can you smell carrot?

What is orange and sounds like a parrot?

A carrot.:

Merry Jokes More Merry Jokes

What did Pippin Took do when he was drunk?

He began to feel Merry.

What does Santa say when he meets your wife, your sister and your mother?

HO HO HO, Merry Christmas!

Smile Jokes More Smile Jokes

Why is everyone smiling at me today?

Checks fly* *no pants* Aaaah.

Why do Retirees smile all the time?

Because they can't hear a word you're saying!

Coal Jokes More Coal Jokes

Why did the Cephalopod get coal for Christmas?

Because he was on the nautilust.

What do you call a lump of coal and a diamond hanging out together?

Carbon Dating.

Xmas Jokes More Xmas Jokes

What has eight arms and tells the time?

A clocktopus Shoutout to the popper from my Xmas dinner

What lies on the bottom of the sea and shakes?

A nervous wreck! I first heard this at xmas 1952 (64 years ago) and it still makes me smile.

Surprise Jokes More Surprise Jokes

What's the definition of a surprise?

A fart with a lump in it

How do you surprise a blind man?

Stick a plunger in the toilet

Think Jokes More Think Jokes

What do you think Jesus's stance would be on guns?

I think he would be most strict on nail gun control. (Credit to Taylor on PKA)

What did the doctor say to the man who walked off the roof of his house?

I don't think you understand the gravity of the situation.