Sing Jokes

You don't know none.. And here to learn one.. So when you are with your friends.. Or walking with your son.. Tell them reddit jokes.. thinking now they would listen... (to you) play it cool, play it slow.. No need to blow.. Take this further, take this far.. till sang by a star. (Improvise it as you like, don't care about the grammar. No rapper does.)

What Journey song to Chinese people sing at funerals?

Don't Stop Bereavin'

How many country singers does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Two. One to screw in the lightbulb and another to sing about all the good times they had with the lightbulb.

What do the Greeks sing while at sea?

Your boat, gently down the stream...

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Why do fish always sing off key?

You can't tuna fish.

What does Peter Gabriel sing on the toilet?

I am the extruder...

What does Sting have in common with a snitch?

They both sang at the police.

Why do people say amen instead of awomen at church?

Because they sing hymns, not hers.

What do you call someone who sings about mints?

A "Minstrel".

Why is Dave Mustaine described as "heavy metal"?

Because he sings lead. (Better read than said.)

Which four-member rock group doesn't sing or play music?

Mount Rushmore.

Why was the attorney kicked out of choir?

All she could sing was, "Law, law, law, law, law, law, law."

What does Tarzan sing at Christmas?

Jungle Bells

Why did Florence Welch sing 'Sweet Nothing'?

Because she was out of lemo-nada. It's okay guys

What did Jeffrey Dahmer sing as he went to the refrigerator?

My Bologna had a first name.

Whats the difference between Mick Jagger and a Scottish farmer?

Mick Jagger sings eh you, get offa mai cloud, but the Scottish farmer says eh McLeod, get offa mai ewe!

What does Spock sing in the shower?

I'll stop the world and meld with you!

How many Irish folk singers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to change the bulb and one to sing about how grand the old bulb was.

What do you call a search engine that sings Christmas songs?

Michael google.

How can you tell an old person from a young person?

An old person can sing and brush their teeth at the same time.

What did the pony say when he sang with a sore throat?

Sorry, I'm just a little hoarse!

Why does Bono sing acapella when he's feeling down?

It takes the edge off it

What song do pigs sing on New Year's Eve?

Auld Lang Swine.

What does Debbie Reynolds sing in heaven?

Good mourning, good mourning, good mourning!!!

How can Ozzy Osbourne possibly sing that?

When Tony Iommi is standing right next to him, alive and well.

How many country stars does it take to change a light bulb?

Six-1 to change the bulb and 5 to sing about how much they miss the old one.

What did the Japanese Journey covers band sing at the funeral?

Don't stop, bereaving!

What did the Asian couple name their black baby?

Sum sing wong

What is green, sings and can be found in the fridge?

Elvis Parsley

What do monkeys sing at Christmas?

Jungle Bells Jungle bells..!

What are your symptoms?

I can't laugh and I can't sing. I'm finding it hard to do anything!

What do post-impressionist painters sing when painting a Frozen landscape?

Let it Gogh!

Who sung?

Sam. Samsung

How did the dyslexic American mathematician sing the first line of his national anthem?

Oh secant, you say

What did Adele say when she crossed the road?

Sing* Hello from the other side!

What song do you sing if you're not a fan of Christmas?

Sigh-lent night

Why do they say 'Amen' at the end of a prayer instead of 'Awomen'?

The same reason they sing Hymns instead of Hers!

How do pirates sing the ABC's?

Abcdefghijklmnopq AAAAARRRRRR stuvwxy and z

What song should you sing to a wildebeest on his birthday?

Happy Birthday To Gnu!

What did the dead blues musician sing?

Didn't wake up this morning...

Why did the girl who worked for the telephone company sing all the time?

Because she was an operetta (operator).

What do you call a pachyderm that sings jazz?

Elephants Gerald

What song to snakes like to sing?

Viva Aspana!

How many folk musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Seven one to change and the other six to sing about how good the old one was.

What is this alien looking thing in a wig trying to sing?

Oh wait thats Nicki Minaj. Why would an alien in a wig pick Nicki Minaj as a name

Why did the boy bring a ladder to chorus?

He wanted to sing higher!

What are your intentions with our daughter?

Uh I need someone to sing the girl parts of Grease songs with me

What do owls sing when it is raining?

Too wet to woo'!

How does Times Square start the new year?

By having Mariah Carey drop the ball! "The audience can sing this one."

What do elephants sing at Christmas?

Noel-ephants Noel-ephants...

Why did the little pig try to join the Navy?

He loved to sing "Oinkers Aweight"

Who sings "Love me tender" and makes Christmas toys?

Santa's little Elvis.

Which songs do planets sing?

Neptunes.

What genre can't Ed Sheeran sing?

Soul

What do Scottish owls sing?

Owld Lang Syne.

What do internet football fans sing?

E we go E we go E we go!

What do you get when you cross a pig with a canary?

I don't know but when it sits on your electric wire and sings all your lights go out

Why do the say "Amen" in church but not "Awoman?

Because they sing hymns, not hers!*

How many country singers does it take to change a lightbulb?

One to put in the new one, and two to sing about how good the old one was.

Why can't the insecure fish sing well?

He's never comfortable in his own scales.

What did the Eskimo children sing when their principal was leaving?

Freeze a Jolly Good Fellow.

What did the angry man sing when he found his slippers chewed up by the new puppy?

I must throw that doggie out the window!"!

What old-time song is the burgers' favourite?

Hammy' - as sung by Al Jolson!

What do I look for in a car?

A sound-proof cabin so I can sing every rap lyric regardless of the neighborhood I'm driving through.

Why did Steve Jobs lose on the X Factor?

Because Sam sung better than him

What do cows sing at their friends birthday parties?

Happy Birthday to MOO Happy Birthday to Moo

What chews on trees and sings?

Justin Beaver

What happens if you sing country music backwards?

You get your job and your wife back.

Who knows how to sing Mariah Carey songs?

Not Mariah Carey

Which song would an exception sing?

Can't catch me - Avicii

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