Permission Jokes

What do you call a snowman who cons people?

A snowfake.

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What do you call a sick bird of prey that enters the country without permission?

An ill-eagle

Why did the Islamic woman die when she fell into the ocean?

She thought to yell for help, but her husband was nowhere around to grant her permission to do so.

What do you call a drunk executioner?

A dun-GIN keeper. Edit: You have my permission to post this on r/dadjokes

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Snowman Jokes More Snowman Jokes

Why can't you trust a snowman?

Because they're all a bunch of flakes

Why is it impossible to surprise a snowman?

He has ice in the back of his head. Get it He has ice in the back of his head. Get it

Stop Jokes More Stop Jokes

How do you stop your water from running?

Stop paying the bill.

Why did Barty Crouch Jr. stop drinking?

It was making him Moody Edit: Guys, its a Harry Potter Joke for those who don't get it.

Bridge Jokes More Bridge Jokes

What are we going to do when we see it?

She asks. "We'll cross that bridge when we get there."

Why are ghostbusters afraid of bridges over small rivers?

A. Because they're not supposed to cross the streams

Post Jokes More Post Jokes

How do you know if a joke has been posted on reddit before?

Oh, they'll tell you.

What do you call a groan-inducing, kindergarten-level pun?

What is another name for Santa's elves?

Subordinate Clauses! Merry Christmas everyone.

What is the linguistic description of sentences like 'ho ho ho' and 'Merry Christmas'?

They are both santa clauses.

Think Jokes More Think Jokes

What's black and blue and about to hurt someone?

Batman thinking about his dead parents.

What do you think of Theresa May?

I'm more of a L'Oreal fan

Fly Jokes More Fly Jokes

Why do seagulls fly by the sea?

Because if they flew by the bay they'd be bagels.

What do you call a flying bus?

Bus Lightyear...

Help Jokes More Help Jokes

Which former pop star would be most likely to help deliver a baby?

Paula Ab-doula

What's the difference between a Thai man and a Thai woman?

Pls help.