Xmas Jokes

What do you call a snowman who cons people?

A snowfake.

Couple's Daily Question Mug

$19.99

What lies on the bottom of the sea and shakes?

A nervous wreck! I first heard this at xmas 1952 (64 years ago) and it still makes me smile.

What has eight arms and tells the time?

A clocktopus Shoutout to the popper from my Xmas dinner

You might also enjoy:

Think Jokes More Think Jokes

How do you feel about perfumes being designed by computers?

Because I think it makes perfect scents.

Why did the gambler think he was in heaven?

He found his pair a' dice!

Lie Jokes More Lie Jokes

What lies on the ground 100 feet up in the air and smells?

A dead centipede.

What do you call a deceptive feline?

A lion. Get it guys lol? Lion Lying I'll pounce myself out now...

Shoutout Jokes More Shoutout Jokes

What's green, slimy and smells like bacon?

Kermit the frogs finger (shoutout to Hesher)

What has eight arms and tells the time?

A clocktopus Shoutout to the popper from my Xmas dinner

Christmas Jokes More Christmas Jokes

Why did the kids not receive presents for Christmas?

Because Rudolph intentionally grounded the team...

What does a Mexican cop say when he wishes you a Merry Christmas?

Police Navidad.

Attend Jokes More Attend Jokes

Where did the universe attend college?

At the university.

What do you call a snowman who cons people?

A snowfake.

Tell Jokes More Tell Jokes

What do you call an empty cheese whiz jar?

Cheese Was! some old guy came up to me on the street and told me this one.

Why did the melon break up with her melon boyfriend?

He told her he *can't elope*.

Arm Jokes More Arm Jokes

What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in a pool?

Bob.

What do you call someone with no arms and no legs being towed behind your boat?

Skip.

Year Jokes More Year Jokes

Why does it take a pirate so long to finish saying the alphabet?

Because they spend years at sea.

Where do you see yourself in four years?

I don't know, I don't have 2020 vision.