What has eight arms and tells the time?

A clocktopus Shoutout to the popper from my Xmas dinner

Previous Random Joke Next
Arm Jokes More Arm Jokes

What do you call a man with no arms or legs who likes to go swimming?

Bob.

What do you call a kid with no arms, no legs, and an eye patch?

Names.

Tell Jokes More Tell Jokes

What happened when Helium told a joke?

There was no reaction

How do you tell an introvert and an extrovert mathematician apart?

When talking to you, the extrovert mathematician looks at *your* shoes.

Xmas Jokes More Xmas Jokes

What do you call a snowman who cons people?

A snowfake.

What lies on the bottom of the sea and shakes?

A nervous wreck! I first heard this at xmas 1952 (64 years ago) and it still makes me smile.

Time Jokes More Time Jokes

What does a Chicago police officer and a professional skateboarder have in common?

They both shred footage. (*be gentle, it's my first time.*)

What time is it when a clock strikes thirteen?

Time to get it fixed.

Shoutout Jokes More Shoutout Jokes

What's green, slimy and smells like bacon?

Kermit the frogs finger (shoutout to Hesher)

Why did the rapper scream into his Easter basket?

He wanted to give a shoutout to his peeps