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What has eight arms and tells the time?

A clocktopus Shoutout to the popper from my Xmas dinner

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Arm Jokes More Arm Jokes

What do you call a boy with no arms and an eyepatch????

Names

What do you call a guy with no arms and not legs laying on a porch?

Matt

Tell Jokes More Tell Jokes

What did off-center say to tilted?

I don't know either he told me to askew!

Why did Bossy tell the cowpoke to leave her calf alone?

She thought children should be seen and not herded!

Xmas Jokes More Xmas Jokes

What do you call a snowman who cons people?

A snowfake.

What lies on the bottom of the sea and shakes?

A nervous wreck! I first heard this at xmas 1952 (64 years ago) and it still makes me smile.

Time Jokes More Time Jokes

Why was Heisenberg's wife unhappy?

Whenever he had the energy, he didn't have the time.

What is something that basically stops when you stare at it, but flys by when you dont?

There are two answere: Time and Boo (from Mario games). Just made this joke up what do you guys think

Shoutout Jokes More Shoutout Jokes

What do you think Michael Hastings was working on before he died?

Slowing down his car....... shoutout to for this one.

What has eight arms and tells the time?

A clocktopus Shoutout to the popper from my Xmas dinner