What has eight arms and tells the time?

A clocktopus Shoutout to the popper from my Xmas dinner

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Arm Jokes More Arm Jokes

How do you stop a thundering herd of Apes?

Hold up your arm and say "Go back you didn't say 'May I'"

What did the boy with no arms get for Christmas?

GLOVES! Just kidding, he hasn't opened the box yet.

Tell Jokes More Tell Jokes

How can you tell the difference between a crocodile and an alligator?

One you'll see in a while, the other you'll see later.

How do you tell two witches apart?

You can't! You don't know which witch is which!

Xmas Jokes More Xmas Jokes

What has eight arms and tells the time?

A clocktopus Shoutout to the popper from my Xmas dinner

What lies on the bottom of the sea and shakes?

A nervous wreck! I first heard this at xmas 1952 (64 years ago) and it still makes me smile.

Time Jokes More Time Jokes

Which area of Zelda: Ocarina of time uses the most resources?

The long long farm.

What's red and invisible at the same time?

No tomatoes.

Shoutout Jokes More Shoutout Jokes

What's green, slimy and smells like bacon?

Kermit the frogs finger (shoutout to Hesher)

What has eight arms and tells the time?

A clocktopus Shoutout to the popper from my Xmas dinner