Arm Jokes

IN HIS SLEEVIES LOL xp cuz it's like armies like babi talk for arms instead of an armie like a bunch of dudes w/ issues w/ theer masculinity np, glad i cud explain dis 2 u

How do you get a man with only one arm out of a tree?

Wave.

What do you call someone with one arm and no legs?

Names

What do you call a pretty lady on the arm of a drummer?

A Tattoo.

What do you call a man with no arms and no legs floating in the ocean?

Bob

What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs driving a car?

Rex (made this one up myself!)

What do you call a kid with no arms, no legs, and an eyepatch?

Names.

What do you call a man with no arms and no legs playing in a pile of leaves?

Rustle

What do you call a man on your porch?

Mat. I neglected to mention he has no arms or legs.

How does an octopus go to war?

Well-Armed

What is your favorite dumb joke?

Mine would have to be Why did sally fall out of the tree? Because she had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not sally.

Why did Sally fall off the swingset?

Because she had no arms. "knock knock" "whose there?" "not sally!"

How do you get a one-armed monkey out of a tree?

Wave at him

Where do you find a dog with no arms or legs?

Right where ya left him.

What did the boy with no legs and arms get for Christmas?

Cancer

What do you call......a man with no arms and no legs in the ocean?

Bob

Why can't the little girl color the elephant in her coloring book?

Her arms are amputated.

How much did the skeleton charge for his excellent legal services?

An arm and a leg.

What do you call a guy with no arms, no legs, and sits in a pile of leaves?

Russell.

What do you call a guy with no arms &amp no legs laying in a pile of leaves?

Russel

What do you call a man in the middle of the ocean with no arms or legs?

Bob

Why can't Bach play the piano?

He "Baroque" his arm, and also he's dead.

How did the octopus lovers walk down the road?

Arm in arm in arm in arm in arm in arm in arm in arm in arm.

Why did the Zombie baseball pitcher retire?

He threw his arm out.

Why did Jesus get all the ladies?

Because he was hung like this (extends arms to sides)

What do you call twins with no arms and no legs, hanging by a window?

Curt 'n Rod

What's black and got ten arms?

I've got no idea, but it probably can pick cotton like hell.

What do you call a guy with no arms or legs floating in the water?

Bob

What do you call two guys with no arms and no legs hanging over a window?

Kurt and Rod

What is brown and has got four legs and an arm?

A Rottweiler on a children's playground.

What do you call a man with no arms and no legs lying under a pile of leaves?

Russel.

What do you call someone with no arms and no legs being towed behind your boat?

Skip.

What famous actor costs an arm &amp a leg to hire?

ARMold SchwarzenLEGger

Why is Def leppard the best band to listen to while driving?

Because you only need one arm to drum along..

What did the boy with no arms or legs get for Christmas?

I don't know, he hasn't opened his presents yet.

What do you do when you stumble upon a one-armed Polish man stuck in a tree?

You wave!

When birds fly in a 'V' formation, one arm of the V is usually longer than the other. Do you know why that is?

There are more birds on that side.

Why do people wear sleeveless shirts?

They like to express the right to bear arms.

What do you call a man with no arms and no legs?

Matt

Why couldn't Susie ride the swings?

Because she has no arms! Knock knock. Who's there Not Susie!

What do you call a man with no arms or legs...... sitting at your door?

Matt....floating in your pool Bob....hanging on your wall Art.... water skiing Skipper.

What has four legs and an arm?

A happy pit bull.

What do you call a guy with no arms or legs in a high school?

Names

What has two arms and 14 legs?

Guy who collects legs.

What do you call a man with no arms &amp no legs......hanging on the wall?

Art...floating in the sea Bob...laying on the floor Matt...down in a hole Phil...sitting in a pot Stu...

What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in a pile of leaves?

Russell

What do you call a man with no arms or legs in your swimming pool?

Bob

Why can't Sally ride the swings?

Cause she doesn't have arms. Knock, Knock, Whose there Not Sally...

Which wizard can help you tone up your arms and upper body?

Dumbbelldor.

What has 4 legs and an arm?

A happy pit bull.

What do you cal a man with no arms and no legs fighting with his cat?

Claude

What do you do with percussionists that lose one of their drumsticks?

Stick them up front of the group and tell them to wave their arms!

What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs, who hangs out in your pool?

Bob

What has got four legs and an arm?

A Rottweiler in a playground.

What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs in a swimming pool?

Bob.

What do you call a kid with no arms or legs at the front door?

Matt.

What do you call a man without arms or legs who gets into a fight with his cat?

Claude!

What do you call a person who is missing his left eye, left ear, left arm and left leg?

Alright.

Why did the T-Rex's girlfriend leave him?

Because he said he only loved her this much (hold out t-rex like arms) Sorry this one requires a bit of a visual, but I thought you guys might like it

What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs in the ocean?

Bob

Why did little Johnny fall off the swing?

He didn't have arms. Why did little Sarah fall off her bike Someone threw a fridge at her.

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