If you are stuck at a red light, its the time that it takes for the occupant of the car behind you to honk his horn when the light turns green.
The drunk driver goes through the stop sign, while the high driver waits for it to turn green.
He joins AARP
When it turns into a driveway.
They're both made of plastic, and little kids turn them on.
Eyyyy, Garry, didn't know you turned into a hotdog stand too! Eyyyy!
Om-lit
AYE MATEY
A Warehouse.
Because she didn't have any arms. Knock Knock. Who's there? Definitely not Sally. Why did Jimmy drop his ice cream? He was hit by a truck Why didn't the truck turn out of the way? Sally Was driving
Stick it in microwave and turn it on until it's Bill Withers.
Stark industries has actually turned a profit
Turn signals
Because we turn them on. / /
Because when you see it, you turn 360 degrees and walk away.
Well, turns out one is not enough, but if you pair it, two can.
Well done.
It was feeling.
It had a SPOILER on it.
Have you tried turning it off and back on?
They'll turn it into a bombardeer
Marry it.
It turns out, it's not very hard at all
Never mind, I'll find someone like you
Colorizebot
With a small loan of a million dollars.
Jack of all Spades
Remove an electron.
She's a robot and the instructions are in Chinese.
Turn off all the lights.
Just turn on the sprinkler.
Add 24 carrots
Premature Edraculation
A flip-flop.
It wanted to get off its ash.
Everything is fine as long as they are white, it is when they turn black it starts to be a problem.
You planet! (It won't turn out well though because it has no atmosphere.)
You would too if you had to change in the middle of the street!
One turns young people into horrible human beings and the other is jail.
Only one, but they have to turn it on and off 50 times before they're sure it's fixed.
Because I turned on airplane mode, and thought it would turn my Iphone into a plane...
Man.
Nurse: Doctor, the patient's life support is acting strange... Doctor: Have you tried turning it off and on again?
Ayeee-Matey
Because criminals keep turning themselves into the police.
Sorry, I just needed to vent
She doesn't Swallowbacca.
He rubbed him the wrong way.
He scared the hell out of him.
Turn of madden and go to bed. (I'm an eagles fan)
It only takes 120 volts to turn on my toaster.
It turns NO! NO! NO! into MMM MMM MMM
Ayyyeeeee mmmaattteeeyyy.
A baby chewing on a razor blade.
Because when he turns his girlfriend on he has to turn her off again three times.
Turn toward your side!
My phone is turned off.
Coz their eyes opened.
They both need to be flipped every 10 mins, but only one turns pink when its done.
A right a right a right!
It twerked.
Goddamn right.
It's easy to turn on, and even though it's eleven, I still love her.
Drive a bus through a pride parade
A laughing cow..
Nothing, as he didn't exist. The probability of anyone in that demographic reaching their eighties is particularly low, and an active pirate being eighty one years of age is further rendered a statistical impossibility given that a pirate would need to be above a certain threshold in terms of physical ability.
You boil the HELL out of it! Har har har.
It mistbehaved
Bruce Banner
Da Beers
They default in our stars
They turn off their XBOX and go to bed!
An chestra.
I guess that some people just want to see the world turn
He needed to keep up with Jenny's U-turns.
One, you can turn off without even trying. The other, you spend all day waving a dish cloth at.
Yorkies
You would turn red too if you had to change in front of everybody.
He turned on the UV light in the Holodeck.
If your gonna turn on a light... Why shade it.
The Bible
Have you tried turning the light off and back on?
Send it a byte. Kind of lame but I couldn't help myself.
Did you try turning me off and on again?
Oh, gosh!
Au-burn
Inserting a rod into the reactor turns it off.
Have a pirate cook it...they always add an "arrr"...
One in Fife
They ran out of san storage
They dont. They turn it into the hype of the new generation.
You'd turn red if someone pulled on your hose wouldn't you?
It can turn "no, no, no!" Into "mmm, mmm, mmm"
Jeffrey Dahmer!
He turned a leaf and made an entry.
They always turn out to be sub par.
You turn me on
Give it to Michael J Fox
He turns into Kim Jong-ill!
Turn off their Nintendo and go to bed.
So that the bride wouldn't get cold feet.
She asked me. Her face looked quite taken aback when I said, "Facebook"
None 'cause it's already lit, fam.
Me: Hubs: The engine smoking at a stoplight Me: I dont know, I look at my phone at lights.
A dog that has somewhere to put its own lead!
One of his legs is the same.
Now I can stop reading while I drive. This is gonna save so many lives.
Pin its other hand to the ground.
OCD, OCD, OCD. Wait the last time didn't feel right. OCD, OCD, OCD. Wait, the second time didn't feel right. OCD, OCD, OCD. Wait...
They put a bottle of vodka 100 meters away from them.
A John Daly
If we change the light bulb we'll have to change everything.
He liked the P, but preferred the essence the change.
You turn it's floppy disk into a hard disk
The cookie!
