3. One to change the bulb and two to talk about how beautiful the turns were.
He turns off his xbox.
Turn Rachmanin off.
Motorist: I was making a U-turn and changed my mind.
A piebald horse pulling a cart!
Motorist: The light just turned yellow.
Give her a shovel.
He just beetled off!
Q: How do you get out of an elephant A: Turn around and around until you get all pooped out. (5 yo humor never gets old)
When he turned the tables on the Temple vendors!
Twenty. 1 to hold the bulb 2 to turn the ladder and 17 to be on the guest list.
It's morphine time!
I make my own dough". My sister Katie came up with this one.
The turn signals.
Give him the sheet music.
When your candy jar is filled with Tums..... My wife just came up with that one... Birthday is next week.. Ugh
Because he's the watchdog and he has to wind himself up.
Turn the udder cheek and mooooove on!
It's impossible, they only know how to turn to the left.
It can turn "No, no no!" into "mmph, mmmph, mmmph"
Because it turns "ice" into "mice"!
I texted with the clicky keyboard sound turned on.
AArrrRP
He forgot to pack his trunk.
Grade A!
One. They're used to having their lights knocked out.That joke turned dark fast. I'll see myself to my respective corner.
It turned into a field
Turn off their console and go to sleep.
I turned MY student loans into vodka...
Because why MC, eh
None. That's a hardware problem but have you tried turning it on and off again
When he turns his cow to pasture.
You need to give a three hour lecture and turn in a research paper on "What is 'good' " first.
She was having Disney spells.
A turn up
You debunk it.
Give her a shovel...
It turns no no no into mm mm mmmm.
Because he footman turned into a mouse.
She turned it over and used the other side.
I'm turning over a new leaf.
A turn-up
Because you turn 360 and walk away!!
Turn it around.
Two. One to find the switch...the other to hit it.
Turn on their windshield vipers.
Because why emcee, eh
One good turn deserves another.
He couldn't see himself doing the work
Present Alms!
Turn Down for What!
Turned down 4 watt
Because he had lime disease
Namaste home tonight.
When it's turned into the teacher.
I reach into my pocket thinking I have a wad of cash, turns out I just bought a soda earlier.
Because they always turn out in-bread.
Turn it into a tire and call it a goodyear.
Because it saw the salad dressing
He turns off the PlayStation.
He was turning things over in his mind.
Just one of the thoughts I have during important business meetings
Because he could only make 14 point turns.
A marriage certificate.
The light's witch!
Sociopaths, fascist dictators, my boyfriend.
You would too if you were caught changing in the middle of the street!
Europe
What a wondrous *turd* of events.
So I turned on the tap & said, "Right here, main."
In one fine evening it can turn your host into... GHOST.
A cow.
With one he turns off the light, With the other he checks if the window is closed
Well, it was cats, originally, but then he was turned to the dog side.
She was looking at a bear and thought it was a sofa due to the four legs.
She was wearing no turn on red.:
When he turns into his cage!
They dont. They turn it into the hype of the new generation.
He couldn't see himself doing it
Yes, but don’t turn it on.
I couldn’t turn it down.
Make sure one is a match!
He was looking for pooh.
It was a shih-tzu
Because cats are K10
Tim Tebow
The teacher was rather bewildered. "Don't you mean Michael " she asked. "No ma'am. I've written the 'M' already."
It's three letters in. "H".
Because it's a round U.
So the Germans can march in the shade.
You know you need a psychiatrist!
I'm bored! (As in board) Another one from my 9 year-old.
3, duh. (My ex's 9 year old little sister told me this joke, and followed is up with: "and YOU'RE the math guy!" >< Burned.)
So that the bride wouldn't get cold feet.
She asked me. Her face looked quite taken aback when I said, "Facebook"
Carrion.
Swine flu!
