My girlfriend
She only puckers up for her pacifier.
Wha suh b?
If they're good ones, they'll both blow really well.
A "booquet" of flower.
Because Sheeran
Because he's got a hollow-weenie.
He went back to square one....
They both go off again two minutes later to remind me of the same thing.
Harambe
When the Reddit servers are ready to go down on me anytime?
Pokemon Go always goes down on me
Your main squeeze.
His girlfriend certainly ain't Morpheus.
Neither want me coming inside them.
Because the state abolished plant parenthood
Because he is forever a loan.
I am going to make the bedrock.
When your wife's clothes start to fit her.
He dumped his girlfriend.
Abort - Bort - Bort!
Because she was seeing somebody on the side.
It has to change for itself.
Homeless
Every time your girlfriend goes to the bathroom, take two shots
Because he needed his space.
It was a no buena My girlfriend is Mexican so I love Mexican jokes. Let me know if you have one!
My credit card bill.
Marriage, you wanna?
Net fish and krill
They both always seem to end up in your clothes
Marriage.. you wanna?
I pull out of both of them.
Because they're too young for him
Nothing. You already told her twice.
Visa or Mastercard?
And why doesn't my girlfriend share this impulse?
My guitar doesn't yell at me when I snap it's g-string
Because when he turns his girlfriend on he has to turn her off again three times.
Homeless.
It's the space between girlfriend and girl friend.
One is pale, bitter and starts off with lots of head and the other one is a beer.
Carpaltunnel
Old Bay.
Feyonc
She just wasn't working out.
Look at her beaver.
Pasta la vista, baby.
Umami!
They are both 8........
Oh baby, you are so (1/cos C)"!!!
Boo bae! (Read aloud please)
Slow down and maybe use some lube...
Sorbet
He was more of a necrOpheliac anyway.
KUSHions please tell me that joke is funny, my girlfriend is trying to tell me that it isn't funny. We all know it is.
Chi-LE!!!!!!!!!! My girlfriend came up with that one hope u guys love it as much as I do!!!!!
Because you're real, but your girlfriend is imaginary
You give her a test-tickle.
I need space.
A maize runner. Credit goes to my girlfriend.
Old bae.
Slow down and use Lubricant.
It's the final condom... Ta da da da...
Accommodating.
I just need some space.
His clean fingers.
Slow down and grab some lube!!
Nothing. It's a gift she will always remember. Edit: Wording clarified (Thanks to therinnovator).
Antelopes.
He has two clean fingers.
He gave her a ring.
Will you envelope with me? (I know its Corny, but it makes me chuckle.)
Because he had a reptile dysfunction!
My girlfriend knows about my wife.
Snickers satisfies.
50 pounds.
His Feyonce.
I'm font of you.
It swept with his girlfriend
Your girlfriend has to chew before she can swallow,
Your girlfriend has to chew before she swallows.
Have I got an ax to grind with you.
When he starts using condoms with other girls.
See you next month!
Prose before hoes.
Both can be solved with a coat hanger
There once was a fellow McSweeny Who spilled some gin on his weenie Just to be couth He added vermouth Then slipped his girlfriend a martini
You are my significant otter.
Nah, I'm a stay. (namaste)
Feyonce.
He nectar!
SOMEDAY ###SOMEDAY! ###SOMEDAY!!
Www.AshleyMadison.com
He broke up with his girlfriend.
Some people actually believe santa exist.
Me: I do.
He'd rather spend his money on a forty
Because they often spend years at C EDIT: made it more punny
A one-hour facial.
In my excitement, I asked my girlfriend "How's your daddy " instead of "Who's your daddy " and now five hours later we're still talking about his diabetes...
She was looking at a bear and thought it was a sofa due to the four legs.
Is this the man I want my kids to spend every second weekend with?
Her arms are amputated.
Blue. One blue one way and one blue the other way.
They both call an 8-course meal a bite.
Spit, swallow, bite, and gargle.
Because they kept retweeting.
When they lose their haunting licenses.
Everywhere.
Paint the town red.
Boo Jeans
Because they have BOOOOgers.
