He has one clean finger.
About 60 pounds.
The ones that are hot don't last as long
Your girlfriend.
We'd be good together.
Your's is possessive
About 45 pounds. What's the differece between a husband and a boyfriend 45 minutes
Baaaaaeeeee!
They would always ask their girlfriend before they came inside.
In my excitement, I asked my girlfriend "How's your daddy " instead of "Who's your daddy " and now five hours later we're still talking about his diabetes...
You Cantaloupe.
Palmela Handerson
When you get fired from a job, you don't stay around and watch other people do your job.
Well let me tell you...
His smellular phone!
Cows are real.
He just wasn't really Inuit...
Pull out
He screwed, nutted, and bolted.
A $100 bill.
They both let me stick it in only one place.
She's52" "Haha, dude, she could be your mom!" "Yeah, actually it's yours"
I don't know...
I need some space.
I love your Boo-ty
She starts fitting into your wife's clothes.
He dumped his girlfriend
He dumped his girlfriend.
She burns most of her calories jumping to conclusions.
First of all you'd need a girlfriend to begin with.
He just needed some space.
They both leave me sticky fingers. 7
In a moooo-tel. I just thought of this sitting in my hotel room. Sometimes I feel like i dad joke so hard I impregnate my girlfriend from 100 miles away.
They broke up.
What's the difference between getting your girlfriend pregnant and asking how her day went There is no difference, you always regret both!
A gf gif gift grift
I love you a ton!
Is this some sort of yolk
With a hamst-ring! I'm sorry.
Drive faster.
2) Do you have a girlfriend 1) Why are you stealing from our refrigerator
You'll never forget her name.
Now you're just some bunny that I used to know.
The knife has a point.
MERRY CHRISTMAS!
Receiving a text from your girlfriend saying that you're breaking up or receiving a second text after saying that it was supposed to be for someone else
His significant udder.
Mistress: Are you done yet Wife: Beige... I think I'll paint the ceiling beige...
See ya next month.
It's a dead letter day.
What I actually heard was "Do you want a fight "
Me: My girlfriend gave it to me. Him: I thought your girlfriend was out of town. Me: I did too...
It was Valenswine's Day.
Because she's a cover thief.
He tractor!
Slow down and use some lube
Pickup lines
Me: a dragon! Santa: noo, be realistic Me: a girlfriend Santa: * cough * what color do you want your girlfriend
Both equally inefficient at letting me know when they are actually ready.
Your plaice or mine'!
Slow the pace and apply more lube!
He lost interest.
A Feyonce
On the front page of reddit.
IT'S ALL PINK IN THE MIDDLE
It's not a you, it's a me, Mario!
I love you, boo!!
She didn't suit his taste!
Person 1: To defend myself. Person 2: Discipline. Me: My girlfriend keeps stealing my fries.
Beef Stroken off
Homeless
With arroz.
Old Bae
I wouldn't spend hours looking for my girlfriend at a ski resort if I lost her on the mountain.
I reply "Taxes."
He gave her a ring.
She wasn't right for me, so I really don't carrot all.
Because he knows where all the naughty girls live.
A dependent Claus.
I haven't had hard wood in 15 years.
By putting flowers on the grave
Because April showers, bring May flowers!
Because it's always burned at the stake
Because he drank his coffee before it was cool.
A "booquet" of flower.
A booquet of flowers.
Ask about his routine.
Gun hangs head & turns around
Getting denied by a car when hitch-hiking.
9 months.
The man says, "I have a hard on but I didn't know you could smell it."
No one knows. It's never happened.
