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What the Girlfriend, the Mistress and the Wife say Girlfriend: Are you done already?

Mistress: Are you done yet Wife: Beige... I think I'll paint the ceiling beige...

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Wife Jokes More Wife Jokes

How is your job and your wife different?

I don't mind telling work the other jobs I've done

What did the Irishman text his Wife?

Honey I'm down at the pub having a pint with the lads. Be home in about 30 min. If I'm not back by then please read this message again.

Think Jokes More Think Jokes

Why does Batman think so highly about himself?

Bruce Wayne.

What do John Mellencamp and Ashton Kutcher have in common?

They both picked up a Cougar and then thought better of it.

Girlfriend Jokes More Girlfriend Jokes

What do you call a musician without a girlfriend?

Homeless

What happened to Sponge Bob Square Pants when he broke up with his girlfriend?

He went back to square one....

Paint Jokes More Paint Jokes

How did the zebra get its stripes?

Not many people know this, but zebras arent actually born with stripes. There is actually an entire industry of people called zebra painters who go around painting black stripes on zebras. This is done so zebras arent confused with albino donkeys.

Why did the remorseful child-molester paint his toe-nails?

He thought it would be a pedicure. sorry.

Ceiling Jokes More Ceiling Jokes

How do you know when there is an elephant under your bed?

When your nose touches the ceiling!

How do you know if there’s an elephant under your bed?

Your head hits the ceiling!

Mistress Jokes More Mistress Jokes

What's the definition of a Mistress?

Oh, I don't know. Probably something between a Mister and a mattress.

Why did Einstein stop seeing his mistress?

She fell in love and he didn't anticipate entanglement