March Madness Sale - 25% Off

What the Girlfriend, the Mistress and the Wife say Girlfriend: Are you done already?

Mistress: Are you done yet Wife: Beige... I think I'll paint the ceiling beige...

Previous Random Joke Next
Wife Jokes More Wife Jokes

What's the one thing you don't want to hear when fighting with your wife on a long road trip?

Recalculating route.

What is a sailor's favorite letter?

From his wife back home

Think Jokes More Think Jokes

Why didn't you stop when I shouted at you back there?

Motorist: I thought you were saying "Good morning Mr. Mayor." Cop: Right. I wanted to warn you about going too fast through the next town.

What is the opposite of paranoia?

Thinking you are following someone.

Girlfriend Jokes More Girlfriend Jokes

How do you know if your girlfriend is ticklish?

You give her a test-tickle.

What do you do when your girlfriend starts to smoke?

Slow the pace and apply more lube!

Paint Jokes More Paint Jokes

What's the difference between a nail and a painting?

It only takes one nail to hang a painting.

What is green and smells like paint?!?

Green paint.

Ceiling Jokes More Ceiling Jokes

What's so cool about Star Wars anyway?

Then jetpack through the ceiling.

Why do they want to relocate the Sistine chapel in Boston?

Because it's more than a ceiling

Mistress Jokes More Mistress Jokes

What did the carpet enthusiast say to his mistress?

I haven't had hard wood in 15 years.

What's the definition of a Mistress?

Oh, I don't know. Probably something between a Mister and a mattress.