Paint Jokes

Not many people know this, but zebras arent actually born with stripes. There is actually an entire industry of people called zebra painters who go around painting black stripes on zebras. This is done so zebras arent confused with albino donkeys.

Who me?

Ohhh, I'm just driving around town, painting "free candy" on the side of creepy looking vans.

Why did the elephant paints it's toes red?

So he could hide in the cherry tree.

What do post-impressionist painters sing when painting a Frozen landscape?

Let it Gogh!

How do you catch a green elephant?

Paint him red and catch him with the red elephant trap.

How do you prevent a canoe from tipping?

Paint it black.

How do you hide a elephant in a cherry tree?

Paint it's balls red. Howed Tarzan die Picking cherries.

Why do people paint eggs for Easter?

Bunnies squirm too much.

March Madness Sale

We've Got This Love Thing Down

$5.99

Why are your nails painted two different colors?

Daughter: Dad. It's an accent color. Dad: ... Dad: Can I hear it

What have men and spray paint in common?

One squeeze and they're all over you.

How do you keep the St. Louis Rams off of your lawn?

Paint an endzone on it.

What's a Jamaican's favorite brand of paint?

Benjammin Moore mon

Why did the pigs paint their hoofs green?

It was Saint Patrick's Day.

What do communists do on May Day?

Paint the town red.

What's red and smells like paint?

Red paint

Why did the monster paint himself in rainbow colors?

Because he wanted to hide in the crayon box.

Why do we paint Easter eggs?

Because it's easier than trying to wallpaper them!

What is the difference between Jesus and a painting?

You only need a nail to hang a painting.

Why is a Boston painting school so special?

Because everyone there is ahtistic.

When is paint free?

When it's on the house.

How did the artist paint a picture?

Easel-y.

How do zombies celebrate Halloween?

They paint the town dead!

How does a dark-skinned boy have light-skinned hands?

Because paint! -my four-year-old daughter.

Why did the elephant paint his toenails red?

So he could hide in the cherry tree!

What the Girlfriend, the Mistress and the Wife say Girlfriend: Are you done already?

Mistress: Are you done yet Wife: Beige... I think I'll paint the ceiling beige...

How does someone pay for a painting?

With Monet

Why did the remorseful child-molester paint his toe-nails?

He thought it would be a pedicure. sorry.

Why did the internit paint his computer screen in little black and white squares?

He wanted to check his e-mail.

What's the difference between a nail and a painting?

It only takes one nail to hang a painting.

What is the difference between a refrigerator and a one foot tall man painting the side of a house?

On a quantum level, there is no difference.

What did the painting on the wall say to the cop?

I've been framed!

How does a blond, get revenge on her blond boyfriend?

She paints a target icon around the outlet.

What did Julius Caesar ask when finding a color to paint the Senate?

Ecru, Brute

How many pollocks does it take to paint a house?

1 to hold the brush and 1000 to turn the house!

Why did the elephant paint himself with different colours?

Because he wanted to hide in the colouring box!

Why do elephants paint their toenails red?

So they can hide in strawberry patches.

Why aren't you charging me for the paint?

They said, "Don't worry about it, it's on the house."

Why did Sweden start painting barcodes on the sides of their battleships?

So they could Scandinavian.

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Why did the elephant paint his balls green?

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Why did the elephant paint his balls red?

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I've Got a Whole Latte Jokes

What would you have if all autos in the US were painted pink?

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How did the zebra get its stripes?