Plan Jokes

What did the asteroid say when his trajectory missed earth?

I guess I didn't plan it very well!

Couple's Daily Question Mug

Couple's Daily Question Mug

Why is moving to Canada always plan B?

Canada deserves to be plan eh.

How does a man show he's planning for the future?

He buys two cases of beer instead of one.

Why was Pluto's child unexpected?

Because it didn't plan it.

What did one architect say to the other?

I see the floor in your plan.

Why did the melon plan a big elaborate wedding?

Because he cantaloupe.

How do you foil a plan?

P + l)(a + n)=pa+pn+la+ln

What do you call a planned organised rebellion gone wrong?

A "coup d'isaster".

What are you planning on doing on MLK day?

Her: I plan on sleeping all day Me: ...Why Her: I want to have dreams too

How do astronomers plan a party?

They planet.

Why do melons always have well planned weddings?

They can'telope!

I've Got a Whole Latte Jokes

I've Got a Whole Latte Jokes

How many NBA finals does Lebron plan on losing?

Not 1 not 2 not 3 not 4 not 5 not 6 not 7

How do you make God laugh?

Tell him your plans.

Why is it so easy to make plans with a gymnast?

Because their schedules are so flexible.

How much would you have to pay a teacher to flunk your kid so he has to go to Summer School?

Just planning ahead...

What's being in love feel like?

You know when someone cancels plans you wanted to cancel anyway Almost as good as that.

How does NASA plan a party..?

They planet.

What happened to the plan of starting a book club?

It got shelved.

How do astronauts plan a party?

They planet. (Plan-et)

What are your plans for Easter?

Husband: Same as Jesus.. Wife: What do you mean Husband:I will disappear on Friday and reappear on Monday!!

Why did the melons plan a big wedding?

Because they cantaloupe!

Everyday Deserves a Joke

Everyday Deserves a Joke

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Old King Coal!

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Bison.

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What did one ocean say to the other ocean?

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Why is the new Zork game rated M for mature?

I guess it's too grue-some.

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What do you do when your one night stand doesn't take Plan B?

Plan C-ya.

What does Laquisha have for breakfast?

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What do you give someone who is about to tear up?

Tape

What do you call something that swims, is big and has 4 legs?

A whale with a table taped to it.

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Why do the Lanisters have such big beds?

Because they push 2 twins together to make a king.

What's a Londoner's favorite seafood?

King's Crustacean.

Canada Jokes More Canada Jokes

Why couldn't the FBI find Sepp Blatter's bribe money?

He used it all to bribe Canada to host the Women's World Cup.

What was the internet speed in Canada in the 1990's?

56eh.

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Whats the best thing about being a meth addict?

Only two more sleeps until Christmas.

What pill would you give to an elephant that can't sleep?

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How does Planned Parenthood paint their walls?

They go to Home Depot, get paint and rollers Sometimes they hire private contractors Lots of paint and tarps and tape, it's not that fun