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What are your plans for Easter?

Husband: Same as Jesus.. Wife: What do you mean Husband:I will disappear on Friday and reappear on Monday!!

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Wife Jokes More Wife Jokes

What belongs to me but is used the most by others?

My ex-wife

What did Patrick Stewart say when he proposed to his wife?

Engage.

Jesus Jokes More Jesus Jokes

What musical group is Jesus most afraid of?

Nine Inch Nails

Why wasn't Jesus any good at math?

Because he always seemed to get hung up on addition.

Mean Jokes More Mean Jokes

What do you call it when three French cats get into a boat only meant for two?

Un, deux, trois, quatre, cinq!

What does it mean if holy water sizzles when it hits your skin?

I'm just asking for a friend)

Plan Jokes More Plan Jokes

What happened to the plan of starting a book club?

It got shelved.

How do astronauts plan a party?

They planet. (Plan-et)

Husband Jokes More Husband Jokes

Who does he look like?

I'm like, 'Your husband'

How many walruses does it take to make a sandwich?

Don't be silly, walruses don't make sandwiches; women make sandwiches. Made this up to bug my sister. It worked. Her husband laughed.

Disappear Jokes More Disappear Jokes

What do you call a dad balloon that disappears?

Pops

Why do objects disappear when you move them twice?

Because you remove them.

Friday Jokes More Friday Jokes

Where do Crows hang out on a Friday nght?

At a crow bar.

How did Jesus get across Jerusalem on a busy Friday afternoon?

Cross traffic doesn't stop.

Monday Jokes More Monday Jokes

Why does Garfield hate Mondays?

He doesn't have a job.

What is the only thing on earth that goes "ha ha" on a Monday?

A bit late, but.... A blonde who heard a joke on Friday.

Easter Jokes More Easter Jokes

Where do Easter bunnies dance?

At the basketball.

Why do we paint Easter eggs?

Because it's easier than trying to wallpaper them!