What are your plans for Easter?

Husband: Same as Jesus.. Wife: What do you mean Husband:I will disappear on Friday and reappear on Monday!!

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Wife Jokes More Wife Jokes

Why did the geologist get divorced?

He took his wife for granite.

What did the English man say when he walked in on his wife making love to three men?

Ello, 'ello, 'ello!

Jesus Jokes More Jesus Jokes

What would Jesus's favorite gun be?

A nail gun

What do you call a crocodile/robot sent from the future to save the past?

Termigator (Jesus Christ this one's even worse than the last)

Mean Jokes More Mean Jokes

How would you describe the average bully?

Mean.

How do you spell ichael?

The teacher was rather bewildered. "Don't you mean Michael " she asked. "No ma'am. I've written the 'M' already."

Plan Jokes More Plan Jokes

What happened to the plan of starting a book club?

It got shelved.

Why do melons always have well planned weddings?

They can'telope!

Husband Jokes More Husband Jokes

How many women have u slept with?

Husband: Only you, Honey. With everyone else, I was awake.

What size bed comfortably fits a married couple?

Twin. Because the husband has to sleep on the couch.

Disappear Jokes More Disappear Jokes

What are your plans for Easter?

Husband: Same as Jesus.. Wife: What do you mean Husband:I will disappear on Friday and reappear on Monday!!

What do you call a dad balloon that disappears?

Pops

Friday Jokes More Friday Jokes

What do brunettes and red-heads do on Friday nights?

Make blonde jokes!

Where were you on Friday?

Me: It was a holiday. Boss: HALLOWEEN IS NOT A PAID HOLIDAY! Me: It is if you go as Christmas. Boss:...

Monday Jokes More Monday Jokes

What is the only thing on earth that goes "ha ha" on a Monday?

A bit late, but.... A blonde who heard a joke on Friday.

How long have you been in pain?

Women: It started at 7:45am on Monday while I was at work Men: Sometime between yesterday and 1997

Easter Jokes More Easter Jokes

Why didn't the Marshmallow Peep cross the road on Easter?

Because it was a little chicken.

Why are you stuffing all that Easter candy into your mouth?

Because it doesn't taste as good if I stuff it in my ears.