What are your plans for Easter?

Husband: Same as Jesus.. Wife: What do you mean Husband:I will disappear on Friday and reappear on Monday!!

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Wife Jokes More Wife Jokes

Why was the Robot angry at the engineer?

Because he screwed his wife!

How did Stevie Wonder meet his wife?

On a blind date

Jesus Jokes More Jesus Jokes

What's the difference between Jesus and a picture of Jesus?

It only takes one nail to hang up the picture.

Why did Carrie Underwood run out of cheese?

Because Jesus took the wheel.

Mean Jokes More Mean Jokes

Why do tennis players never get married?

Because Love means nothing to them.

Why is a UTI such a bad thing?

Because it means urine trouble

Plan Jokes More Plan Jokes

Why is it so easy to trust a hypochondriac?

Because none of their plans are ill-conceived.

How do astronomers plan a party?

They planet.

Husband Jokes More Husband Jokes

What about our child?

Wife: What What child Husband: So you are not pregnant

How do I look?

I just came back from the beauty salon.... Husband - Well. Was it closed

Disappear Jokes More Disappear Jokes

Why do objects disappear when you move them twice?

Because you remove them.

What do you call a disappearing President?

Hocus POTUS

Friday Jokes More Friday Jokes

Where do cows go on Friday nights?

To the moovies.

Why is Friday the best day of the week?

Its the 5/7 day of the week

Monday Jokes More Monday Jokes

How do you make a blonde laugh on a Wednesday?

Tell her a joke on a Monday!

What's the best thing about Portugal?

You never have to carry your bags because of all the porter-geese. Thankyou, im here till Monday!

Easter Jokes More Easter Jokes

What would you get if you crossed the Easter Bunny with an overstressed person?

An Easter basket case!

What are your plans for Easter?

Husband: Same as Jesus.. Wife: What do you mean Husband:I will disappear on Friday and reappear on Monday!!