What are your plans for Easter?

Husband: Same as Jesus.. Wife: What do you mean Husband:I will disappear on Friday and reappear on Monday!!

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Wife Jokes More Wife Jokes

How did Stevie Wonder meet his wife?

On a blind date

How did Mr Cheese paint his wife?

He Double Gloucester.

Jesus Jokes More Jesus Jokes

Why did Jesus fall on the side of the road?

Because he was crossed.

Why wasn't Jesus any good at math?

Because he always seemed to get hung up on addition.

Mean Jokes More Mean Jokes

What's your favorite word?

5-Year-Old: Empathy! I don't even know what it means! Me- I know how you feel.

What does FTFY even mean?

I swear to god people abuse acronyms so much.

Plan Jokes More Plan Jokes

Why is it so easy to make plans with a gymnast?

Because their schedules are so flexible.

How does NASA plan a party..?

They planet.

Husband Jokes More Husband Jokes

What is the difference between a pregnant woman and a supermodel?

Nothing if her husband knows what's good for him!

How many women have u slept with?

Husband: Only you, Honey. With everyone else, I was awake.

Disappear Jokes More Disappear Jokes

Why are magicians always sad?

Because everything they have disappears

What do you call a disappearing President?

Hocus POTUS

Friday Jokes More Friday Jokes

What's the worst thing about Fridays?

Realizing it's only Tuesday.

What do you call the day after a sad Friday?

A sadder day.

Monday Jokes More Monday Jokes

Why should you keep a blonde on the job 7 days a week?

So you don't have to retrain them every Monday.

Why do physicists have such a hard time figuring out why their experiments fail Monday through Thursday?

Causal fridays.

Easter Jokes More Easter Jokes

What does a Chinese restaurant serve for Easter?

Coloured eggrolls!

Where do Easter bunnies dance?

At the basketball.