Disappear Jokes

How do you cure a headache?

Put your head through a window and the pane will just disappear!

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Whenever I'm in trouble, I think: what would Jesus do?

Then I pretend to be dead and disappear for three days.

Why do objects disappear when you move them twice?

Because you remove them.

Why are magicians always sad?

Because everything they have disappears

How did the dollar bill feel when his change started disappearing?

Coincerned

What do you feed a disappearing cat?

Evaporated milk

What did the magician say when he made his rabbit disappear?

Hare today gone tomorrow.

Why did Turkey disappear?

Because Austria was Hungary.

How do magicians retire?

They seem to just disappear.

How did the Chihuahua disappear on the road?

It was using a hide-'n-go-seekle!

How do you make one girl disappear?

Just add a G and now she's gone.

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What's it called when you commission someone to make an animated image for your girlfriend but he pockets the money and disappears?

A gf gif gift grift

What do you call a dad balloon that disappears?

Pops

What are your plans for Easter?

Husband: Same as Jesus.. Wife: What do you mean Husband:I will disappear on Friday and reappear on Monday!!

What do you call a disappearing President?

Hocus POTUS

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Think Jokes More Think Jokes

How do I know you're not a cop -If I was a cop would I do this?

Starts breakdancing* Thats not as much proof as you think it is

What does a dyslexic,agnostic and insomniac spend most of his time doing?

Staying up all night thinking if there really is a dog

Object Jokes More Object Jokes

What do you call the object Attila the Hun uses to brush his leg hair?

A Hun knee comb.

What type of objects do not accelerate, regardless of the force applied?

Letterhead and envelopes. No matter how hard you try, they remain stationery!

Tomorrow Jokes More Tomorrow Jokes

What did the lumberjack say when his colleague went home sick?

Hope you fell better tomorrow.

What's the procrastinator's favorite song?

Tooomorrow, tomorrow, I love yah, tomorrow.." (You're always a day away)

Russia Jokes More Russia Jokes

What was the Tsar of Russia's favorite fish?

Tsardines!

Why didn't Edward leave Russia?

Cause he was snowden.

Hair Jokes More Hair Jokes

What does Batman use to wash his hair?

Conditioner Gordon.

What's worse than finding hair in your food?

Finding out the chef is bald.

Cure Jokes More Cure Jokes

What's the cure for world hunger?

Food

How do mathematicians cure constipation?

They work it out with a pencil.

Pretend Jokes More Pretend Jokes

What do you call people who pretend to be Irish on St. Patrick's Day?

Counterfitz

What do you call spaghetti pretending to be rigatoni?

An impasta

Appear Jokes More Appear Jokes

Why wasn't there a Captain America movie tie in videogame?

Because every time one bug was fixed, 2 more appeared.

What's the difference between a magician and a psychologist?

A magician makes rabbits appear in hats, while a psychologist makes habits appear in rats.