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Whenever I'm in trouble, I think: what would Jesus do?

Then I pretend to be dead and disappear for three days.

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Think Jokes More Think Jokes

Why do people ask "what the hell were you thinking"?

Obviously, I was thinking I was gonna get away with it and not have to explain it

What happened to me?

Snow Doctor: Don't worry you're fine. But... what did you think a snow blower did

Day Jokes More Day Jokes

How did the monster cure his sore throat?

He spent all day gargoyling.

What did the cow say when it saw the farmer twice in one day?

Deja Moo!

Jesus Jokes More Jesus Jokes

What is the difference between Jesus and a painting?

You only need a nail to hang a painting.

What's the difference between Jesus and his portrait?

His portrait only need one nail

Disappear Jokes More Disappear Jokes

How do you cure a headache?

Put your head through a window and the pane will just disappear!

Why did Turkey disappear?

Because Austria was Hungary.

Trouble Jokes More Trouble Jokes

Whenever I'm in trouble, I think: what would Jesus do?

Then I pretend to be dead and disappear for three days.

What do you call an alligator trying to start trouble?

An instagator!

Pretend Jokes More Pretend Jokes

What's the difference between St. Patrick's Day and Martin Luther King Day?

Everyone pretends to be Irish on St. Paddy's Day.

What do you call people who pretend to be Irish on St. Patrick's Day?

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