Whenever I'm in trouble, I think: what would Jesus do?

Then I pretend to be dead and disappear for three days.

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Think Jokes More Think Jokes

How do you think we can better handle this in the future?

ME glaring at Cheryl, who took the last donut: idk, maybe don't hire Cheryl

What does Dave Grohl say when he thinks there's a stalker in his house?

IS SOMEONE OUT ON THE VEST? THE VEST? THE VEST? THE VESTIBULE?

Day Jokes More Day Jokes

What is the hottest time of day?

2:flirty

What does a rock do all day?

Nothing. (this joke was made by daughter when she was 5)

Jesus Jokes More Jesus Jokes

What type of Martial Arts does Jesus know?

Jiu Jitsu.

Why did the foot smile?

He was toe very happy. Jesus that is awful.

Disappear Jokes More Disappear Jokes

Whenever I'm in trouble, I think: what would Jesus do?

Then I pretend to be dead and disappear for three days.

What do you call a disappearing President?

Hocus POTUS

Trouble Jokes More Trouble Jokes

Why do health magazines targeting hypochondriacs have so much trouble maintaining subscriber levels?

Because none of their readers believe them when they receive a warning that it's their final issue.

Why does Axl Rose have trouble getting his car fixed?

Because no one wants to feel his serpentine.

Pretend Jokes More Pretend Jokes

Why is PBS asking me for money?

If I had money I wouldn't need to pretend crow migration habits are good entertainment.

What do you call people pretending to be a ball?

Roll playing im sry