Pretend Jokes

Whenever I'm in trouble, I think: what would Jesus do?

Then I pretend to be dead and disappear for three days.

Couple's Daily Question Mug

$19.99

What do you call someone pretending to nice to people just to get upvotes?

Karma chameleon

What do you call spaghetti pretending to be rigatoni?

An impasta

What's the difference between RPGs and Drunken Style Kung Fu?

In the first, you must drink a lot of liquids before battle, but in the latter, you only pretend.

What's the difference between St. Patrick's Day and Martin Luther King Day?

Everyone pretends to be Irish on St. Paddy's Day.

Why is PBS asking me for money?

If I had money I wouldn't need to pretend crow migration habits are good entertainment.

What do you call people who pretend to be Irish on St. Patrick's Day?

Counterfitz

When young Clark Kent was wearing a cape in the yard, who was he pretending to be?

Liberace

What do you call a guy who pretends he can speak French?

A francophony

What do you call someone who's pretending to be from Sicily?

Amoxicillin

What do you call people pretending to be a ball?

Roll playing im sry

Everyday Deserves a Joke

$19.99

You might also enjoy:

Half Jokes More Half Jokes

What's half of a tuba?

A oneba.

What is worse than a worm in a cherry?

Half of a worm in half of a cherry.

Liquid Jokes More Liquid Jokes

What kind of liquid does a pig's printer use?

Oink

What's the difference between RPGs and Drunken Style Kung Fu?

In the first, you must drink a lot of liquids before battle, but in the latter, you only pretend.

Credit Jokes More Credit Jokes

Why did the orange go to the doctor?

Because she wasn't peeling very well... All credit to my 8 yo son who suggested I post it here

What do you call a three humped camel?

Pregnant. (Credit goes to the trailer of Zootopia)

Italy Jokes More Italy Jokes

What is the poor part of Italy called?

The spaghetto

Why are a lot of Italians named Tony?

Because as they got on the boat to leave Italy, they were stamped on the head, "TO NY".

Major Difference Jokes More Major Difference Jokes

What's the difference between a captain and a lt.col?

A major difference.

Claim Jokes More Claim Jokes

How did Mitt Romney get a 14% tax rate?

He claimed 47% of America as dependents.

How does Romney only claim a 14% tax rate?

He claims 47% of the U.S. as dependents.

Saint Patrick Day Jokes More Saint Patrick Day Jokes

Why did the pigs paint their hoofs green?

It was Saint Patrick's Day.

What's the difference between Saint Patrick's Day and Martin Luther King Day?

Everyone wants to be Irish on Saint Patrick's Day.

Thing Jokes More Thing Jokes

How do you stick things together like Fred Flinstone?

You add a dab of glue.

What's a rabbi's favorite type of bar?

It's sure as hell not a bar-mitzvah, those things are expensive.