Pretend Jokes

Whenever I'm in trouble, I think: what would Jesus do?

Then I pretend to be dead and disappear for three days.

Couple's Daily Question Mug

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What do you call someone pretending to nice to people just to get upvotes?

Karma chameleon

What do you call spaghetti pretending to be rigatoni?

An impasta

What's the difference between RPGs and Drunken Style Kung Fu?

In the first, you must drink a lot of liquids before battle, but in the latter, you only pretend.

What's the difference between St. Patrick's Day and Martin Luther King Day?

Everyone pretends to be Irish on St. Paddy's Day.

Why is PBS asking me for money?

If I had money I wouldn't need to pretend crow migration habits are good entertainment.

What do you call people who pretend to be Irish on St. Patrick's Day?

Counterfitz

When young Clark Kent was wearing a cape in the yard, who was he pretending to be?

Liberace

What do you call a guy who pretends he can speak French?

A francophony

What do you call someone who's pretending to be from Sicily?

Amoxicillin

What do you call people pretending to be a ball?

Roll playing im sry

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Mexican Jokes More Mexican Jokes

What is the advantage that Mexican workers have over everyone else?

Their "Senor"ity!

How do Mexican peanuts tell time?

Cacawatches

Lot Jokes More Lot Jokes

Why aren't kids under the age of 18 allowed to watch videos about duck calls without the consent of a parent?

Because they contain a lot of fowl language.

What's black and white and makes a lot of noise?

A panda with a set of drums.

Impasta Jokes More Impasta Jokes

What do you call a fake noodle?

An impasta.

What do you call noodles that aren't spaghetti?

Impastas

Retard Jokes More Retard Jokes

Battle Jokes More Battle Jokes

Why did Germany win so many battles in WW I?

They had baron.

What Does an Angry Sheep Say in Battle?

Fus Ro BAAAAAAAA.

Trouble Jokes More Trouble Jokes

What did the dolphin say when he got in trouble?

I didn't do it on Porpoise!!

What do you call a boat that gives you nothing but trouble?

A woe boat.

Pirate Jokes More Pirate Jokes

What do pirates have in common with photons?

They both travel at c

Why are pirates called pirates?

Because they arrr!

Jesus Jokes More Jesus Jokes

How did Jesus pay for our sins?

Pray-Pal

Why is Jesus always sad?

Because Jesus Christ (Cries)