Pretend Jokes

Whenever I'm in trouble, I think: what would Jesus do?

Then I pretend to be dead and disappear for three days.

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What do you call someone pretending to nice to people just to get upvotes?

Karma chameleon

What do you call spaghetti pretending to be rigatoni?

An impasta

What's the difference between RPGs and Drunken Style Kung Fu?

In the first, you must drink a lot of liquids before battle, but in the latter, you only pretend.

What's the difference between St. Patrick's Day and Martin Luther King Day?

Everyone pretends to be Irish on St. Paddy's Day.

Why is PBS asking me for money?

If I had money I wouldn't need to pretend crow migration habits are good entertainment.

What do you call people who pretend to be Irish on St. Patrick's Day?

Counterfitz

When young Clark Kent was wearing a cape in the yard, who was he pretending to be?

Liberace

What do you call a guy who pretends he can speak French?

A francophony

What do you call someone who's pretending to be from Sicily?

Amoxicillin

What do you call people pretending to be a ball?

Roll playing im sry

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Difference Jokes More Difference Jokes

Whats the difference between Yoghurt and the USA?

Yoghurt has a culture.

What's the difference between a school and an ISIS training camp?

I don't know, i just fly the drone

Pirate Jokes More Pirate Jokes

What do pirates use to copy files?

Yarrrrrsync!

How do pirates measure rope?

In yarr'ds.

Retard Jokes More Retard Jokes

Mexican Jokes More Mexican Jokes

What do a cue ball and a Mexican have in common?

The harder you hit them, the more English you get out of them.

What is a Mexican's favourite sport?

Cross-Country Running

Spaghetti Jokes More Spaghetti Jokes

How do you ask a priest to hand you the spaghetti?

Pasta pasta, pasta.

What do you call noodles that aren't spaghetti?

Impastas

France Jokes More France Jokes

What do you get when you throw a hand grenade into a bathroom in France?

Linoleum Blownapart

Who ruled France until he exploded?

Napoleon Blownapart!

Switzerland Jokes More Switzerland Jokes

What's the best thing about Switzerland?

I don't know, but their flag is a huge plus.

What's the best part about living in Switzerland?

I don't know, but the flag is a big plus

Cinco De Mayo Jokes More Cinco De Mayo Jokes

What's honey mustards least favorite holiday?

Cinco de Mayo

How did So-Cal celebrate the double anniversary of the LA Riots and Cinco de Mayo?

Rodney King Pinatas