Pretend Jokes

Whenever I'm in trouble, I think: what would Jesus do?

Then I pretend to be dead and disappear for three days.

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Love

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What do you call someone pretending to nice to people just to get upvotes?

Karma chameleon

What do you call spaghetti pretending to be rigatoni?

An impasta

What's the difference between RPGs and Drunken Style Kung Fu?

In the first, you must drink a lot of liquids before battle, but in the latter, you only pretend.

What's the difference between St. Patrick's Day and Martin Luther King Day?

Everyone pretends to be Irish on St. Paddy's Day.

Why is PBS asking me for money?

If I had money I wouldn't need to pretend crow migration habits are good entertainment.

What do you call people who pretend to be Irish on St. Patrick's Day?

Counterfitz

Why was the UKIP voter angry?

Because he didn't like the look of the Poles (for this to make sense, pretend the UK election hasn't happened yet)

When young Clark Kent was wearing a cape in the yard, who was he pretending to be?

Liberace

What if Snow White just pretended to be asleep so she didn't have to clean up after little people anymore?

Because that I totally get.

What do you call a guy who pretends he can speak French?

A francophony

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We've Got This Love Thing Down

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What do you call someone who's pretending to be from Sicily?

Amoxicillin

What do you call people pretending to be a ball?

Roll playing im sry

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Switzerland Jokes More Switzerland Jokes

What are some of the perks of living in Switzerland?

Well, the flag's a big plus.

What’s the advantage of living in Switzerland?

Well, the flag is a big plus.

Impasta Jokes More Impasta Jokes

What do you call a fake noodle?

An impasta.

What do you call spaghetti pretending to be rigatoni?

An impasta

Retard Jokes More Retard Jokes

Difference Jokes More Difference Jokes

Who can't tell the difference between short and long?

This subreddit mods

What's the difference between a fedora clad Brony and an egg?

The egg gets laid!

People Jokes More People Jokes

Which number confuses people?

Why did the stoplight turn red?

Well, you would too, if you had to change in front of that many people!

Want Jokes More Want Jokes

What do you call Mike Tyson without any arms?

Whatever you want

Why did the rich guy crash his car?

He wanted to see how the Mercedes bends

Credit Jokes More Credit Jokes

What do you call a three humped camel?

Pregnant. (Credit goes to the trailer of Zootopia)

What do you call ice cream that robs a bank?

Heist cream Got to give credit to my friend, who sadly dosent have reddit.

Disappear Jokes More Disappear Jokes

What do you call a disappearing President?

Hocus POTUS

Why are there no black magicians?

They get arrested when they make something disappear.