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Why is PBS asking me for money?

If I had money I wouldn't need to pretend crow migration habits are good entertainment.

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Ask Jokes More Ask Jokes

What do you call an awkward questioner?

I don't KNOW, that's why I **asked** you. God.

When a waitress asks me if I want soup or salad, I always ask "who's in charge of tossing the salads here?

Then I frown & order the soup.

Need Jokes More Need Jokes

What does NASA stand for?

Need Another Seven Astronauts

Why does a cow need a bell?

Because its horn doesn't work.

Money Jokes More Money Jokes

What does the twitter bird do when it needs money?

It goes to Twerk!

Why is it a good idea to put your money in the freezer, instead of the bank?

So you always have access to cold hard cash...

Pretend Jokes More Pretend Jokes

Why was the UKIP voter angry?

Because he didn't like the look of the Poles (for this to make sense, pretend the UK election hasn't happened yet)

What's the difference between RPGs and Drunken Style Kung Fu?

In the first, you must drink a lot of liquids before battle, but in the latter, you only pretend.