Why is PBS asking me for money?

If I had money I wouldn't need to pretend crow migration habits are good entertainment.

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Ask Jokes More Ask Jokes

What happened when the man asked the salesman for a good belt?

O.K. you asked for it" the salesman said as he gave him a good belt.

Why would my wife ask if I was wearing this shirt when it's already on?

Stop talking in secret code.

Need Jokes More Need Jokes

What do Jaqen H'ghar from Game of Thrones and Christina Aguilera have in common?

They both know "what a girl wants" and "what a girl needs".

Where does the Easter Bunny go when he needs a new tail?

To a re-tail store!

Money Jokes More Money Jokes

Why was Beethoven making a lot of money?

His property was Fur Elise

Why didn't the atheist businesswoman make any money?

She didn't believe in prophets.

Pretend Jokes More Pretend Jokes

Whenever I'm in trouble, I think: what would Jesus do?

Then I pretend to be dead and disappear for three days.

What do you call someone pretending to nice to people just to get upvotes?

Karma chameleon