Why is PBS asking me for money?

If I had money I wouldn't need to pretend crow migration habits are good entertainment.

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Ask Jokes More Ask Jokes

How do you tell the difference between a Fabric Designer and a Science Professor?

Ask them to pronounce "LATEX"

Why all Pascal programmers ask to live in Atlantis?

Because it is below C level.

Need Jokes More Need Jokes

Why don't women need umbrellas?

Because it doesn't rain in the kitchen.

Why was the tired criminal delighted when he was caught by the police?

Because he needed *arrest*!!!

Money Jokes More Money Jokes

What do you call it when a bison borrows money from you?

A buffa

What should you do if windows crashes cost you a lot of money?

You should Bill Gates.

Pretend Jokes More Pretend Jokes

What do you call someone who's pretending to be from Sicily?

Amoxicillin

What's the difference between St. Patrick's Day and Martin Luther King Day?

Everyone pretends to be Irish on St. Paddy's Day.