Why would my wife ask if I was wearing this shirt when it's already on?

Stop talking in secret code.

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Wife Jokes More Wife Jokes

Why do you want to be buried at sea?

Because my wife says she wants to dance on my grave.

What's the difference between life and wife's rant?

Life eventually ends.

Talk Jokes More Talk Jokes

What did the dog do with the history professor?

They got together and talked over old times.

What did the owl say to the squirrel?

Nothing. Because owls don't talk. Then it ate the squirrel, because owls are birds of prey.

Stop Jokes More Stop Jokes

What did Journey say to the critic as he stormed out of their concert?

Don't stop! Be leaving!" Just a joke I thought up the other day.

Why did the tricycle stop working?

Because it was two tired...

Ask Jokes More Ask Jokes

How does a mathematician ask for money?

Give me 10! dollars

How flexible are you?

He asked. I can't do Tuesdays. -Tommy Cooper

Wear Jokes More Wear Jokes

Why does the little mermaid wear sea-shells?

She grew out of her b-shells

What's the difference between a guy wearing a bullet proof vest and the English football team?

The guy would survive the first round.

Shirt Jokes More Shirt Jokes

What's the difference between a wealthy man wearing a tux and riding a bike and a hobo in torn jeans and shirt riding a unicycle?

Attire.

What do you call a shirt you hate?

Cloathed*