Why did Henry VIII have so many wives?

He liked to chop and change!

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Wife Jokes More Wife Jokes

What's the definition of a Polygamist?

Pupil: A parrot with more than one wife!

How is my wife doing?

Doctor: I'm so sorry. The accident has left her in a vegetative-like state and I don't think she'll ever recover. She can barely move her limbs, if at all, and will be confined to a bed or wheelchair without the ability to ever walk again. You'll need to care for her 24/7, clothe her, feed her, bathe her, and she'll have no control of her bladder or bowels. Again, I'm so, so, sorry.................. Just kidding! She's dead.

Like Jokes More Like Jokes

Why were a bunch of realist artists offended at a Matisse gallery opening?

They didn't like the public displays of abstraction.

What do you call a submissive who likes to bark like a dog?

A subwoofer.

Change Jokes More Change Jokes

How does Donald Drumpf change a lightbulb?

He doesn't. He hires people with long fingers to do it for him.

How many black metalheads does it take to change a light bulb?

100. 1 to change the light bulb and the other 99 to complain about how the old light bulb was much better.

Henry Viii Jokes More Henry Viii Jokes

What's the correct what to enter a Henry VIII convention?

You just Amblein.

What do you call the vehicle used to carry Henry VIII's second wife to the hospital?

An Anne-Boleyn-ce.

Chop Jokes More Chop Jokes

What's worse than dropping a scope of ice cream?

Dropping 2 scoops of ice cream. What's worse than dropping 2 scoops of ice cream? Getting a hand chopped off. What's worse than getting a hand chopped off? Getting both hands chopped off. What's worse than getting both hands chopped off? The Holocaust. What's worse than the Holocaust? Dropping 3 scoops of ice cream.

What did Napoleon say about the chopped up body?

I wanna Bone a part