Henry Viii Jokes

What do you get when you cross Henry VIII and Vlad the Impaler?

Executed.

I've Got a Whole Latte Jokes

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What do you call the vehicle used to carry Henry VIII's second wife to the hospital?

An Anne-Boleyn-ce.

What's the correct what to enter a Henry VIII convention?

You just Amblein.

Why did Henry VIII have so many wives?

He liked to chop and change!

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Second Jokes More Second Jokes

What takes longer to run, first to second, or second to third?

Second to third, because there's a short stop in the middle!

What do you call it when you second guess your decision to book a stay at a Native American resort?

A reservation reservation reservation. Credit to Brian Regan, this is my favorite joke of his!

Wife Jokes More Wife Jokes

Why do woman out live men?

They don't have wives

What did the String Theorist say when his wife caught him in bed with another woman?

Wait, I can explain everything!

Correct Jokes More Correct Jokes

Why are people still using a dictionary?

I just type the words into Google and see if it corrects me.

Who corrects Santa's grammar?

A subordinate Clause.

Kermit Jokes More Kermit Jokes

What did Miss Piggy say to Kermit at the end of their first date?

Nothing. She had a frog in her throat.

What's green, fuzzy, and stinks of pork?

Kermit the Frog's finger

Frog Jokes More Frog Jokes

What happens to a frog that parks illegally?

He gets toad.

What do you get if you cross a frog and a dog?

A croaker spaniel!

Carry Jokes More Carry Jokes

Why does Snoop Dog carry an umbrella?

For drizzle.

What kind of music venues do gun lovers like the most?

Carry OK

Use Jokes More Use Jokes

What do you call an armoire that is secretly used as a closet?

A closet closet.

What pronouns do you use to address a chocolate bar?

Her/she

Run Jokes More Run Jokes

What does the Doctor use to keep things running smoothly in the T.A.R.D.I.S?

WD-4D

Why doesn't Mexico ever win any medals in the Olympics?

Because everyone who can run, jump, or swim has already crossed the border.