Henry Viii Jokes

What do you get when you cross Henry VIII and Vlad the Impaler?

Executed.

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Which hand did Henry VIII use to wipe his bottom with?

Anne Boleyn's.

What do you call the vehicle used to carry Henry VIII's second wife to the hospital?

An Anne-Boleyn-ce.

What's the correct what to enter a Henry VIII convention?

You just Amblein.

Why did Henry VIII have so many wives?

He liked to chop and change!

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Correct Jokes More Correct Jokes

Why are people still using a dictionary?

I just type the words into Google and see if it corrects me.

What did the double-amputee say when he stood up?

I stand corrected." -From

Anne Boleyn Jokes More Anne Boleyn Jokes

Which hand did Henry VIII use to wipe his bottom with?

Anne Boleyn's.

Why was the ghost of Anne Boleyn always running after the ghost of Henry VIII?

She was trying to get ahead!

Cross Jokes More Cross Jokes

What do you get it you cross a porcupine with a giraffe?

A long necked toothbrush.

What do you get when you cross a highway with an armadillo?

About halfway across.

Second Jokes More Second Jokes

What do you call the second-most hated politician in America?

Madam President.

What are the three rings of marriage?

The first one is the engagement ring...the second one is the wedding ring...and the third one is the suffering.

Kermit Jokes More Kermit Jokes

What is green and smells like bacon?

Kermit's fingers

What is Green...and Smells Like Pork?

Kermit the Frog's Finger!!

Hospital Jokes More Hospital Jokes

Why did the narcissistic cannibal end up in the hospital?

Because he was so full of himself.

Why did the woman's visit to Wall Street land her in the hospital?

Because the stock broker!

Wipe Jokes More Wipe Jokes

What does German goalkeeper Manuel Neuer call it when he takes a dump and there is nothing on the toilet paper after wiping?

A clean sheet.

What does a Russian use to wipe their mouth?

A soviet

Run Jokes More Run Jokes

Why hasn't Mexico got an Olympic team?

Because the ones who can run, jump and swim are already in the U.S

What did the chopped wood say to the tree?

Run!