What did Julius Caesar ask when finding a color to paint the Senate?

Ecru, Brute

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What should you do if you find a 500-pound dog asleep on your bed?

Sleep on the sofa.

How did the farmer find his girlfriend?

He tractor!

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What did the couch surfing, yoga junkie say when his friend asked him to leave?

Namaste.

Why did the soccer player have to ask for a bib at the restaurant?

Because he was Messi

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What is the difference between Jesus and a painting?

You only need a nail to hang a painting.

What does Stalin do on a night out?

Paints the town red

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What color does your skin turn when you pour molten gold onto it?

Au-burn

What do you call a chameleon that doesn't change color?

A reptile dysfunction.

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What did Julius Caesar ask when finding a color to paint the Senate?

Ecru, Brute

Where did Julius Caesar keep his armies?

In his sleevies.

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What did Julius Caesar ask when finding a color to paint the Senate?

Ecru, Brute

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What did Julius Caesar ask when finding a color to paint the Senate?

Ecru, Brute

What aftershave do monsters wear?

Brute.