What should you do if you find a 500-pound dog asleep on your bed?

Sleep on the sofa.

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Bed Jokes More Bed Jokes

How can you shorten a bed?

Don't sleep long in it.

Why does your brother wear a life jacket in bed?

Because he sleeps on a waterbed!

Find Jokes More Find Jokes

Why don't nice people ride the train?

Because they're usually found on trucks.

Where would you find an Egyptian psychopathic swimmer?

In denial.

Sleep Jokes More Sleep Jokes

Why did the mafia boss get banned from the aquarium?

He was sleeping with the fishes.

What is in common between a napkin and a person?

If you sleep with a person, he/she is ur nap-kin.

Sofa Jokes More Sofa Jokes

Why couldn't the Buddha hoover under the sofa?

Because he had no attachments

What should you do if you find a 500-pound dog asleep on your bed?

Sleep on the sofa.

500 Pound Jokes More 500 Pound Jokes

What does a 500 pound parakeet say?

TWEET!!!

What should you do if you find a 500-pound dog asleep on your bed?

Sleep on the sofa.