Why did Jimmy take a ruler to bed?

To see how long he slept for.

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Bed Jokes More Bed Jokes

What should you do if you find a 500-pound dog asleep on your bed?

Sleep on the sofa.

Why does the ocean roar?

You would too if you had crabs on your bottom and oysters in your bed.

Sleep Jokes More Sleep Jokes

Why do you hate me?

Me any time someone tells me I have to sleep on a futon

How did you sleep?

With closed eyes.

Jimmy Jokes More Jimmy Jokes

What has 4 legs and isn't alive?

It's a chair dad... Why are you bothering me with this! No Jimmy, it's your dog...

Why did little Jimmy break open his computer?

It said that it had 20 cookies in it.

Ruler Jokes More Ruler Jokes

Why did the blond take a ruler to bed?

To see how long she slept.

What did the ruler gain a reputation for while campaigning?

Straight talk.