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Why did Jimmy take a ruler to bed?

To see how long he slept for.

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Bed Jokes More Bed Jokes

Why was the young kangaroo thrown out by his mother?

For smoking in bed.

What should you do if you find a snake in your bed?

Sleep in the wardrobe.

Sleep Jokes More Sleep Jokes

What do monkeys sleep on?

Apricots. I used to love this joke when I was a little kid and told it over and over. I'm still a little in love with it for that reason. What are some of your favorite jokes from when you were a little kid?

Why does your brother wear a life jacket in bed?

Because he sleeps on a waterbed!

Jimmy Jokes More Jimmy Jokes

What has 4 legs and isn't alive?

It's a chair dad... Why are you bothering me with this! No Jimmy, it's your dog...

Who him?

Oh that's just jimmy, I pay him to follow me around and inter- *saxophone solo* INTERRUPT MY SENTENCES WITH SAXOPHONE SOLOS.

Ruler Jokes More Ruler Jokes

Why did the girl take a ruler to bed?

She wanted to see how long she slept.

Why do we call rulers "Your Highness"?

Because that's what they measure.