Jimmy Jokes

Why can't Jimmy ride his bike?

Because he has no limbs Kinda dark, I know. It's just for those out there who would chuckle at this. ;D

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Why did Lucy fall off the swing?

Jimmy pushed her... Which is a shame because she was getting used to swinging without arms.

Why was Jimmy so excited to go to Clown College?

He got a fool scholarship.

Why did little Jimmy cross the road?

Because he wanted a good view of the front of a moving Porsche. RIP lil' Jimmy

Why did little Jimmy break open his computer?

It said that it had 20 cookies in it.

Why was little Jimmy fishing in the well?

Because Tom had previously drowned in the well and everyone said "Tom is sleeping with the fishes."

What has 4 legs and isn't alive?

It's a chair dad... Why are you bothering me with this! No Jimmy, it's your dog...

Why did Jimmy take a ruler to bed?

To see how long he slept for.

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End Jokes More End Jokes

What is dark and hairy on the outside, soft and moist on the inside, starts with a C, ends with a T, and has a U and an N in it?

A coconut

What is mitosis?

Those are the things on the ends of my feetsis. Thought of this during my last bio exam.

Face Jokes More Face Jokes

How do you know if an Asian is depressed?

All around them are familiar faces, worn out places, worn out faces.

Why did the introvert Polish his shoes regularly?

So he could look at others' faces.

Way Jokes More Way Jokes

How far can this plane go with just one engine?

All the way to the crash site!

How do you fit 50 elephants into a subway station?

You take the letter "f" out of the word "way" (there's no f in way) *joke works best when the person being asked the question has to think about it for some time and says the phrase themselves without realizing what they said

100 Jokes More 100 Jokes

What smells of cheese and is filled with holes?

About 100 French people right now

How long does it take to reach the ground from 100 stories up?

The rest of your life.

Johnny Jokes More Johnny Jokes

What does Johnny Depp say when cutting down trees?

TIMBUUUUUUUURTON

Why didn't Johnny go to the 7 A.M. funeral?

Because he just isn't a mourning person.

Knock Knock Jokes More Knock Knock Jokes

Knock-knock.

A race condition. Who is there?

Why are pirates so bad at telling jokes?

Instead of 'knock knock', they say, 'Arrr you there!'

Jimmy Kimmel Jokes More Jimmy Kimmel Jokes

What's the difference between me and Jimmy Kimmel?

I can make it to the end of a Jimmy Kimmel joke without laughing.

Walk Jokes More Walk Jokes

Why do pagans make the best husbands and wives?

Because they'll worship the ground you walk on.

What did the doctor say to the strange beer that walked into his clinic?

What ails you?