Face Jokes

Why don't chickens wear underwear?

Because their peckers are on their faces.

I've Got a Whole Latte Jokes

I've Got a Whole Latte Jokes

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Why are ships' portholes round?

So that if they break, water doesn't hit you square in the face.

What's thr difference between the Chinese and racism?

Racism has many faces.

What's better than having a garbanzo bean on your face?

Having a chickpea on your face.

What did Will Smith's toe say to his face?

I am leg end.

Why do they want to change the faces on dollars but not on coins?

Because the only constant is change.

What did Serena say to Venus before they faced off in the US Open?

In tennis, love means nothing.

What's Rihanna's favorite love song?

I can't feel my face when i'm with you

What did the scientist see when he looked up his family tree?

A gorilla pooped on his face.

What's the diffrence between a Chickpea and a Gorbanzo bean?

I woun't pay a 100 bucks for a Gorbanzo bean on my face.

Why did the punk-rocker cross the road?

He had a chicken stapled to his face.

Couple's Daily Question Mug

Couple's Daily Question Mug

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What's the difference between a buffalo and a bison?

You can't wash your face in a buffalo.

What motivated Hercules to face off against Cerberus?

Alcmene triple-dog-dared him.

What do you call a chicken with a piece of lettuce on its face?

Chicken Caesar salad.

Why did the snowman have a smile on his face?

Because the snowblower was coming down the block.

Whats the difference between Chinese people and racism?

Racism has many faces

What's another word for a face tattoo?

An everlasting jobstopper.

What's the difference between a Chickpea and a Garbonzo bean?

I wouldn't let a Garbonzo bean all over my face.

Which religion faces the most Resistance?

Hinduism... Om......

Why does your face look like a donut?

Me 30 minutes into dieting

How did your mom know you hadn't washed your face?

I forgot to wet the soap.

Everyday Deserves a Joke

Everyday Deserves a Joke

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How can I face the problem?

When my problem is my face!

What if they found the face of Jesus in a piece of toast but it was *actually* Jesus?

This is my body, I'm nice with jam.

What kind of flower grows on your face?

Tulips.

What a glum face what would you say if I came to school with a face like yours?

Pupil: I'd be too polite to mention it!

What's the difference between a chickpee and a garbanzo bean?

I'd never let a garbanzo bean on my face

What are the two things someone with a face tattoo never hears?

You're hired" "Not guilty"

Why was the clown kicked out of the maths lesson?

Because he kept throwing his pi in other peoples faces!

What's the difference between my face and my jokes?

People laugh at my face.

What do me and a mirror have in common?

A.When we see your face we both crack up!

How long are you going to keep throwing that in my face?

Netflix: Because you watched "The Wedding Planner"

What do you get if you cross a grizzly bear and a harp?

A bear faced lyre!

Why did the Face of Bo go to the party by himself?

Because he had no body to go with.

Why did the introvert Polish his shoes regularly?

So he could look at others' faces.

What's the difference... between a gazpacho bean and a chickpea?

I've never had a gazpacho bean on my face.

When faced with a challenging situation I calmly ask myself "what would The Hulk do?"

Then I rip my clothes and smash stuff up!

What products do you use for grooming?

She asked me. Her face looked quite taken aback when I said, "Facebook"

When I fix someone's computer and they say "Wow how'd you do that?

I tell them I'm a wizard then throw glitter in their face.

Why did the pig have ink all over his face?

Because it came out of the pen.

What problems would you face if you were arrested for drunk driving?

I'd probably lose my buzz a lot faster.

What's the difference between Tigger and Pooh?

I've never smeared tigger on my face

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Problem Jokes More Problem Jokes

How many gangsters does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Twelve, you got a problem with that

What was Bernie Sander's favorite topic in mathematics?

Radicals. He loved finding the "root" of problems...

Horse Jokes More Horse Jokes

Who are the biggest nay-sayers on Earth?

Horses

What do Dothraki use to count their horses?

A Khalculator

Mention Jokes More Mention Jokes

Where is the first tennis match mentioned in the Bible?

When Joseph served in Pharaoh's court

How many mice does it take to screw in a light-bulb?

None. Mice can't change light-bulbs as they are mere rodents without the physical or mental ability to do so. Not to mention it's much safer for them to pilfer food in the dark.

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Bar Jokes More Bar Jokes

What do ghosts order at the bar?

Sam-BOO!-ca

What did the horse order at the bar?

Chardaneiiiiiiggghhhhh

Pa Jokes More Pa Jokes

How many PA's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Nine........one to do it and eight others to wish they'd been asked.

How do you wake up Lady Gaga?

You pa- pa- poker face, pa- pa- poker face!

Know Jokes More Know Jokes

How do you know Tiger Woods is one of the richest people in the world?

He plays golf.

How do we know that slaves went to college?

They all had masters

People Jokes More People Jokes

What do people and trees have in common?

They both fall down when you hit them with an axe.

When people say "May I ask who's calling?

I like to say "Sure, go ahead."