Face Jokes

Why don't chickens wear underwear?

Because their peckers are on their faces.

I've Got a Whole Latte Jokes

I've Got a Whole Latte Jokes

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Why are ships' portholes round?

So that if they break, water doesn't hit you square in the face.

What's thr difference between the Chinese and racism?

Racism has many faces.

What's better than having a garbanzo bean on your face?

Having a chickpea on your face.

What did Will Smith's toe say to his face?

I am leg end.

Why do they want to change the faces on dollars but not on coins?

Because the only constant is change.

What did Serena say to Venus before they faced off in the US Open?

In tennis, love means nothing.

What's Rihanna's favorite love song?

I can't feel my face when i'm with you

What did the scientist see when he looked up his family tree?

A gorilla pooped on his face.

What's the diffrence between a Chickpea and a Gorbanzo bean?

I woun't pay a 100 bucks for a Gorbanzo bean on my face.

Why did the punk-rocker cross the road?

He had a chicken stapled to his face.

Everyday Deserves a Joke

Everyday Deserves a Joke

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What's the difference between a buffalo and a bison?

You can't wash your face in a buffalo.

What motivated Hercules to face off against Cerberus?

Alcmene triple-dog-dared him.

What do you call a chicken with a piece of lettuce on its face?

Chicken Caesar salad.

Why did the snowman have a smile on his face?

Because the snowblower was coming down the block.

Whats the difference between Chinese people and racism?

Racism has many faces

What's another word for a face tattoo?

An everlasting jobstopper.

What's the difference between a Chickpea and a Garbonzo bean?

I wouldn't let a Garbonzo bean all over my face.

Which religion faces the most Resistance?

Hinduism... Om......

Why does your face look like a donut?

Me 30 minutes into dieting

How did your mom know you hadn't washed your face?

I forgot to wet the soap.

Couple's Daily Question Mug

Couple's Daily Question Mug

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How can I face the problem?

When my problem is my face!

What if they found the face of Jesus in a piece of toast but it was *actually* Jesus?

This is my body, I'm nice with jam.

What kind of flower grows on your face?

Tulips.

What a glum face what would you say if I came to school with a face like yours?

Pupil: I'd be too polite to mention it!

What's the difference between a chickpee and a garbanzo bean?

I'd never let a garbanzo bean on my face

What are the two things someone with a face tattoo never hears?

You're hired" "Not guilty"

Why was the clown kicked out of the maths lesson?

Because he kept throwing his pi in other peoples faces!

What's the difference between my face and my jokes?

People laugh at my face.

What do me and a mirror have in common?

A.When we see your face we both crack up!

How long are you going to keep throwing that in my face?

Netflix: Because you watched "The Wedding Planner"

What do you get if you cross a grizzly bear and a harp?

A bear faced lyre!

Why did the Face of Bo go to the party by himself?

Because he had no body to go with.

Why did the introvert Polish his shoes regularly?

So he could look at others' faces.

What's the difference... between a gazpacho bean and a chickpea?

I've never had a gazpacho bean on my face.

When faced with a challenging situation I calmly ask myself "what would The Hulk do?"

Then I rip my clothes and smash stuff up!

What products do you use for grooming?

She asked me. Her face looked quite taken aback when I said, "Facebook"

When I fix someone's computer and they say "Wow how'd you do that?

I tell them I'm a wizard then throw glitter in their face.

Why did the pig have ink all over his face?

Because it came out of the pen.

What problems would you face if you were arrested for drunk driving?

I'd probably lose my buzz a lot faster.

What's the difference between Tigger and Pooh?

I've never smeared tigger on my face

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Nose Jokes More Nose Jokes

Why do elephants squirt water through their noses?

If they squirted it through their tails it'd be very difficult to aim.

What do you find in an empty nose?

Fingerprints.

Cat Jokes More Cat Jokes

How do cats let us know that they are in pain?

Me...........Owwwwww!!

What kinds of jokes do cats play on each other?

Purranks.

Chinese Jokes More Chinese Jokes

Why didn't King Kong go to Hong Kong?

He didn't like Chinese food.

What do you call a Chinese orange?

A Mandarin

Lentil Jokes More Lentil Jokes

Whats the difference between a Chickpea and a Lentil?

No one ever paid $50 to have a Lentil on their face.

What did the pulse say to the legume as he left?

Lentil next time.

Difference Jokes More Difference Jokes

What's the difference between and out-law and an in-law?

One's wanted.

What's the difference between HP computers and HP in a video game?

One of them you want to see a lot less of.

Wake Jokes More Wake Jokes

Why did the emo swallow an alarm clock?

So he could wake up inside.

Did you hear about the kidnapping at school?

It's ok, he woke up.

Mention Jokes More Mention Jokes

Where is the first tennis match mentioned in the Bible?

When Joseph served in Pharaoh's court

What a glum face what would you say if I came to school with a face like yours?

Pupil: I'd be too polite to mention it!

Garbanzo Bean Jokes More Garbanzo Bean Jokes

Whats the difference between a chick pea and a garbanzo bean?

I've never had a garbanzo bean on my face before

What's the difference between a chic pea and a garbanzo bean?

Iv never had a garbanzo bean on my face.