When I fix someone's computer and they say "Wow how'd you do that?

I tell them I'm a wizard then throw glitter in their face.

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Tell Jokes More Tell Jokes

How do you know that someone likes to smoke weed?

Don't worry they'll tell you.

Why didn't the doctor use Twitter to tell the patient that he had a deadly disease?

Because the condition was untweetable.

Computer Jokes More Computer Jokes

What did the dentist say to the computer?

This won't hurt a byte

What did Stephen Hawking say when his computer crashed?

Nothing.

Face Jokes More Face Jokes

What do you call a guy going down on a girl with a smile on his face?

A Gladiator

What's another word for a face tattoo?

An everlasting jobstopper.

Throw Jokes More Throw Jokes

How do you get a Samsung owner to throw their phone out the window?

End your text with "this message will self destruct in 10 seconds"

How do you start a baby shower?

Throw it into a wood chipper.

Wizard Jokes More Wizard Jokes

When I fix someone's computer and they say "Wow how'd you do that?

I tell them I'm a wizard then throw glitter in their face.

Where do witches and wizards shop?

Voldemart.

Fix Jokes More Fix Jokes

How does a woman fix a ceiling problem?

She complains to a man.

How many people with OCD does it take to fix a lightbulb?

Only one, but they have to turn it on and off 50 times before they're sure it's fixed.

Glitter Jokes More Glitter Jokes

What is a blonde's favorite color?

Glitter.

When I fix someone's computer and they say "Wow how'd you do that?

I tell them I'm a wizard then throw glitter in their face.