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When I fix someone's computer and they say "Wow how'd you do that?

I tell them I'm a wizard then throw glitter in their face.

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Tell Jokes More Tell Jokes

Why'd you shave it off?

Me: I just told you...

How can you tell you have a really bad case of acne?

It is when the blind try to read your face

Computer Jokes More Computer Jokes

Why did the computer squeak?

Someone stepped on the mouse.

Why did the blonde call an exterminator?

Her computer had a bug...

Face Jokes More Face Jokes

What's the difference between a chickpea and a lentil?

I wouldn't pay 50 to have a lentil on my face...

What's the difference between a chickpee and a garbanzo bean?

I'd never let a garbanzo bean on my face

Throw Jokes More Throw Jokes

How long are you going to keep throwing that in my face?

Netflix: Because you watched "The Wedding Planner"

What do you do if an epileptic falls in your swimming pool?

Throw in your laundry.

Wizard Jokes More Wizard Jokes

What do you call a wizard with a good outlook on life?

An Opti-Mystic.

How does a wizard keep his potions safe from burglary?

With a warlock.

Fix Jokes More Fix Jokes

What happened to German Orphans after WW2?

Did they ever get back on the Reich track (I saw the post in /r/history earlier and was disappointed to find it was a serious question. I fixed it.)

How much Squidwards does it take to fix a lightbulb?

Zero, because none of them knows how to

Glitter Jokes More Glitter Jokes

What is a blonde's favorite color?

Glitter.

When I fix someone's computer and they say "Wow how'd you do that?

I tell them I'm a wizard then throw glitter in their face.