Chinese Jokes

What font does a beef noodle stall use?

Times Niurou Mian (Niurou Mian = beef noodles in Chinese)

Couple's Daily Question Mug

Couple's Daily Question Mug

What does a noise musician order at a Chinese restaurant?

Peaking duck!

What Is a Chinese persons favorite holiday?

Chinko De Mayo

How Long is a Chinese man?

Its his name.

What do Japanese Kids, Chinese Democracy and German Humor have in common?

All are equally oxymoronic.

Why is it so difficult to call Chinese people?

There's so many wings it's easy to wing the wong number.

What does Waka flocka order at a Chinese restaurant?

BAO BAO BAO BAO

What are Jehovah witnesses called in Chinese?

Dind Dong

What do you call a Chinese billionaire?

Cha Ching

Who's the fastest runner in the Chinese olympic team?

Mr. Do Ping

What do you call a Chinese millionaire?

Cha Ching

I've Got a Whole Latte Jokes

I've Got a Whole Latte Jokes

What did the doctor say when he delivered a blonde-haired baby to an expecting Chinese couple?

Two Wongs don't make a white

What is the least favorite food place of the Chinese?

Nanking Donuts

How do Chinese people say "hello" in Spanish?

Hola.

What do you call a dog in a sub?

A subwoofer! Now again: What do you call a dog in a sub? Chinese food!

How do Chinese people know what to name their children?

After the last dog they just ate.

What Chinese name means 'wolf'?

Hau Ling.

What did Obi-wan say to Luke at the Chinese restaurant?

Use the fork, Luke.

What's thr difference between the Chinese and racism?

Racism has many faces.

What did the geologist say at the Chinese restaurant?

May I have Eurasian plate?

What's the best part of Chinese food?

The 4/10 cookie

Everyday Deserves a Joke

Everyday Deserves a Joke

What did Picard say when Riker asked him what kind of Chinese food he wanted?

Make it Tso's Number One.

What did the manager say to his new Chinese intern?

How, are you?

What do you call a Chinese baby in the oven?

A 2nd born.

How does a Chinese man start a religious video?

Press pray.

How do Chinese name their kids?

They throw silverware on the ground!

What do you call a Chinese cameraman?

Phil Ming

What is a Chinese person's favorite wound?

Bruise Lee.

How's the new Chinese restaurant downtown?

Eh... It's tso-tso.

What do Chinese people call Chinese food?

Food.

Why can Chinese bands rehearse so much?

They're never short of Sichuan musicians.

Why couldn't the Chinese herpetologist see out his car window?

Because it was too froggy outside.

What Journey song to Chinese people sing at funerals?

Don't Stop Bereavin'

What do you call a Chinese fly with no wings?

A wok.

Who was the most active of the Chinese khanes?

Ginseng khan I am in a silly mood. Have a good day

What do Chinese lumberjacks do?

Chopsticks

What do you call a Chinese Podiatrist?

Hee Lan To

What do you call the definitive book on Chinese culture?

The Hanbook

What happens in a Chinese restaurant when the power goes out?

It'll dim sum

What did the baby order at the Chinese restaurant?

Goo goo gai pan!

How do Chinese people name their childre n?

They throw a toaster down the stairs.

What's the difference between an American zoo and a Chinese zoo?

An American zoo will only have a description of the animal. The Chinese zoo has the price and recipe of the animal.

What do you call a rich Chinese?

Cha-Ching

Why are there no casinos in China?

Because the Chinese don't like Tibet...

What kind of mane does a Chinese lion have?

Lo mein.

Why don't Chinese Restaurant owners do their dirty dishes?

Because it's too much wok! Sorry, I just made that up!

Why did a Chinese man ride a bike to the brothel?

To get laid.

What do you do if the lights in a Chinese food restaurant are too bright?

Dim Sum.

What did the Chinese billionaire say after buying the deer with no eyes?

I have no Idea.

What do you call it when all the Chinese places in town start to close?

Wonton endangerment.

What's a Chinese chicken's favorite vegetable?

Buock choi

How did a Chinese spy disguise himself as an Arab in America?

He became a Muslim.

What do you call a kid who's dad is Jamaican and mom is Chinese?

Rastafriedrice

Which one is the odd one out; a Crab, a Tuna, a Chinese man run over by a bus or a Lobster?

A tuna, because the rest of them are crustaceans.

What do you call a rich Chinese person?

Cha ching

What happens when the lights go out in a Chinese restaurant?

It'll Dimsum.

What do you get when you cross a duck and a cat?

A Chinese restaurant's newest entree!

What did the Chinese pirate say?

Awwlllll!

When did the Chinese man know it was time to go to the dentist?

Tooth hurty

Why did the pregnant Chinese chicken cross the road?

Because ah, the egg roll.

Whats the difference between Chinese people and racism?

Racism has many faces

How do the Chinese select their baby names?

They chuck a tin can down the stairs Ping Wong ching Pang

What are you up to?

Her: I'm making Chinese. Me: Cloning's unethical. Hahaha just kidding. Make me a math tutor.

What is a Chinese pirate an expert at?

Flying a plane.

Why did the Polish couple decide to have only 4 children?

They'd read in the newspaper that one out of every five babies born in the world today is Chinese.

Why do Chinese tourists get disappointed when they visit America?

Because when they buy souvenirs they find out they were made in China.

How Long can a Chinese name be?

Yoda

Where do the Chinese study?

In the Pupils republic of China

Why is Chinese the best language?

It has the most character.

How many Chinese people does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one but he has to manufacture it first.

How much does a Chinese elephant weigh?

Wonton

What's a Cholo's favorite Chinese food dish?

Chicken chow meng.

What does a Chinese cow say?

Governess(https://translate.google.com/m/translate#en/zh-CN/Governess)

What's a Chinese chef's favorite song?

I believe I can fry.

What do you call a Chinese food truck?

A Wok in the Park

What do Chinese bears use to cook?

A pan. Duh!

What has two wings and an arrow?

A Chinese telephone

What's the heaviest Chinese food?

Wonton

What's the best time to visit your Chinese dentist?

Tooth hurty

What do you call a robbery in China?

A Chinese take away!

What sound does a Chinese cat make?

Mao

Why should you never drink German beer with Chinese food?

An hour later you're hungry for power.

How did the Chinese atheist get to heaven?

Jesus said to him "Behold! I am risen!" and he said "That's nice I don't bereave you."

What is goingon?

Nothing much, just hungry for some Chinese food

How do Chinese pick a name for their newborn?

They kick a Can

What do you call a Chinese millionare?

Ching-Ching.

What would you get if you crossed the Easter Bunny with Chinese food?

Hop suey!

What did the Chinese cowboy say?

Nii haw!

How do you make the best Americanized Chinese food?

Like Tso.

How many of you believe in psychokinesis?

Raise my hand. - Taken from local Chinese joint fortune cookie.

How much does a Chinese dumpling weigh?

It weighs *Won-ton*

What would happen if all Chinese people jumped off a chair, all at the same time?

I don't know either, but you would need a reeeally big chair!

How do the Chinese vote?

With their erections.

Why don't the Chinese have casinos?

Because they don't like Tibet

Why did the Chinese chicken cross the road?

The eggrolled

What do Chinese people do when they have an erection?

They vote

What does a Chinese bear fry eggs in?

A pan, duh!

Why do Chinese people love NY?

Because they heard we sell hotdogs for $0.75 each.

How many Chinese workers does it take to make a Smartphone?

I dunno. Ask the kids.

What do you call a Chinese Jehovah's witness?

Ding Dong

You might also enjoy:

Description Jokes More Description Jokes

What would you use to write down a description of the dump you just took?

A No. 2 pencil.

What's the difference between an American zoo and a Chinese zoo?

An American zoo will only have a description of the animal. The Chinese zoo has the price and recipe of the animal.

Chinese People Jokes More Chinese People Jokes

How do Chinese people laugh over the internet?

Lmao Zedong

Why is it so difficult to call Chinese people?

There's so many wings it's easy to wing the wong number.

Wing Wing Jokes More Wing Wing Jokes

Recipe Jokes More Recipe Jokes

Why couldn't the blonde make icecubes?

Because she lost the recipe.

What's the difference between an American zoo and a Chinese zoo?

An American zoo will only have a description of the animal. The Chinese zoo has the price and recipe of the animal.

Town Jokes More Town Jokes

How do u tell the population of a small native village?

Throw a bunch of pocket change in the middle of town. How do u tell who is the richest person in that village? Find the person who gathered the most change.

Where did Susie go when her town got bombed?

Everywhere.

Price Jokes More Price Jokes

How do you know you are in the gardening section of Home Depot?

Everything is priced in pesos.

What did they say to the CEO who raise minimum wage to $70,000?

Price is right!

Mexican Jokes More Mexican Jokes

What's a Mexican's favorite sport?

Cross Country.

Why did the SJW hate the Mexican robot?

Because it was Pablo-matic

Bus Jokes More Bus Jokes

Why did the kid drop his ice cream?

Because the bus hit him.

Why are we making such a big deal about the wheels on the bus going round and round?

They're wheels.