Chinese Jokes

What font does a beef noodle stall use?

Times Niurou Mian (Niurou Mian = beef noodles in Chinese)

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What does a noise musician order at a Chinese restaurant?

Peaking duck!

What does Waka flocka order at a Chinese restaurant?

BAO BAO BAO BAO

What do you call a Chinese millionaire?

Cha Ching

What did Obi-wan say to Luke at the Chinese restaurant?

Use the fork, Luke.

What's thr difference between the Chinese and racism?

Racism has many faces.

What did the geologist say at the Chinese restaurant?

May I have Eurasian plate?

What did Picard say when Riker asked him what kind of Chinese food he wanted?

Make it Tso's Number One.

How do Chinese name their kids?

They throw silverware on the ground!

What do you call a Chinese cameraman?

Phil Ming

What is a Chinese person's favorite wound?

Bruise Lee.

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How's the new Chinese restaurant downtown?

Eh... It's tso-tso.

What do Chinese people call Chinese food?

Food.

Why can Chinese bands rehearse so much?

They're never short of Sichuan musicians.

Why couldn't the Chinese herpetologist see out his car window?

Because it was too froggy outside.

What Journey song to Chinese people sing at funerals?

Don't Stop Bereavin'

Who was the most active of the Chinese khanes?

Ginseng khan I am in a silly mood. Have a good day

What do Chinese lumberjacks do?

Chopsticks

What do you call the definitive book on Chinese culture?

The Hanbook

What happens in a Chinese restaurant when the power goes out?

It'll dim sum

What did the baby order at the Chinese restaurant?

Goo goo gai pan!

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What do you call a rich Chinese?

Cha-Ching

Why are there no casinos in China?

Because the Chinese don't like Tibet...

What kind of mane does a Chinese lion have?

Lo mein.

Why don't Chinese Restaurant owners do their dirty dishes?

Because it's too much wok! Sorry, I just made that up!

What do you do if the lights in a Chinese food restaurant are too bright?

Dim Sum.

What did the Chinese billionaire say after buying the deer with no eyes?

I have no Idea.

What do you call it when all the Chinese places in town start to close?

Wonton endangerment.

What's a Chinese chicken's favorite vegetable?

Buock choi

What do you call a rich Chinese person?

Cha ching

What happens when the lights go out in a Chinese restaurant?

It'll Dimsum.

Why did the pregnant Chinese chicken cross the road?

Because ah, the egg roll.

Whats the difference between Chinese people and racism?

Racism has many faces

Why do Chinese tourists get disappointed when they visit America?

Because when they buy souvenirs they find out they were made in China.

Where do the Chinese study?

In the Pupils republic of China

Why is Chinese the best language?

It has the most character.

How much does a Chinese elephant weigh?

Wonton

What's a Chinese chef's favorite song?

I believe I can fry.

What do you call a Chinese food truck?

A Wok in the Park

What do Chinese bears use to cook?

A pan. Duh!

What has two wings and an arrow?

A Chinese telephone

What's the heaviest Chinese food?

Wonton

What's the best time to visit your Chinese dentist?

Tooth hurty

What do you call a robbery in China?

A Chinese take away!

What sound does a Chinese cat make?

Mao

What do you call a Chinese millionare?

Ching-Ching.

What would you get if you crossed the Easter Bunny with Chinese food?

Hop suey!

What did the Chinese cowboy say?

Nii haw!

How do you make the best Americanized Chinese food?

Like Tso.

How many of you believe in psychokinesis?

Raise my hand. - Taken from local Chinese joint fortune cookie.

How much does a Chinese dumpling weigh?

It weighs *Won-ton*

What would happen if all Chinese people jumped off a chair, all at the same time?

I don't know either, but you would need a reeeally big chair!

How do the Chinese vote?

With their erections.

Why don't the Chinese have casinos?

Because they don't like Tibet

Why did the Chinese chicken cross the road?

The eggrolled

What do Chinese people do when they have an erection?

They vote

What does a Chinese bear fry eggs in?

A pan, duh!

How many Chinese workers does it take to make a Smartphone?

I dunno. Ask the kids.

What is Captain Picard's favorite Chinese takeout?

Make it Tso!

What do you call a Chinese poker face?

A mahjong face

How heavy is a Chinese dumpling?

Wonton.

What do you call a Chinese orange?

A Mandarin

What's a let down Chinese lobster called?

A crushed Asian

What does a Chinese restaurant serve for Easter?

Coloured eggrolls!

Why didn't King Kong go to Hong Kong?

He didn't like Chinese food.

How does a Chinese cat say hello?

Mi Hao.

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You Pokémon

How do you get 50 Pikachus on a bus?

Poke 'em on.

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What song did Kim Jong Il request be played at his funeral?

Journey - Don't Stop Bereaving.

Chinese Food Jokes More Chinese Food Jokes

What did Picard say when Riker asked him what kind of Chinese food he wanted?

Make it Tso's Number One.

Why didn't King Kong go to Hong Kong?

He didn't like Chinese food.

Ching Chong Jokes More Ching Chong Jokes

Pet Dog Jokes More Pet Dog Jokes

What did the chemist say when he found out his two pet dogs died?

Barium

What sort of clothes does a pet dog wear?

A petticoat!

Halo Jokes More Halo Jokes

Why didn't Bungie stick with Halo?

Because it wasn't their Destiny.

How do angels greet each other?

They say Halo.

Peak Jokes More Peak Jokes

What does a noise musician order at a Chinese restaurant?

Peaking duck!

What did the tree say to the mountain?

Stop peaking at me.

Food Jokes More Food Jokes

What's you experience with "Friends with benefits"?

The close thing I came to having friends with benefits was.......... convincing my friend to bring food for me daily.

Why did the hipster burn his tounge?

Because he ate his food before it was cool.