How many of you believe in psychokinesis?

Raise my hand. - Taken from local Chinese joint fortune cookie.

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Hand Jokes More Hand Jokes

How do you make a trombone sound like a French horn?

Stick your hand in the bell and play lots of wrong notes.

Why didn't the panda use a glove when playing baseball?

Because he caught everything bear handed!

Chinese Jokes More Chinese Jokes

What's the best part of Chinese food?

The 4/10 cookie

What's a let down Chinese lobster called?

A crushed Asian

Raise Jokes More Raise Jokes

How many parents does it take to raise a homicidal maniac?

Two, then one, then none

What does a push up bra and a dictatorship have in common?

They both oppress those on the inside. They both lie to those on the outside. And they both raise monuments to the fallen.

Believe Jokes More Believe Jokes

Why do health magazines targeting hypochondriacs have so much trouble maintaining subscriber levels?

Because none of their readers believe them when they receive a warning that it's their final issue.

What u doing?

Math, it's due Friday" *I slowly crumple the paper and put it in my mouth* They'll never believe u